Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given process chart illustrates the formation of rain shadow dessert. in total 7 steps.

Overall, all steps are essential if one of the step is eliminated the whole process will be excluded.

During the first step, winds approaches the coast then are pushed upwards afterwards moist air rises and cools subsequently, clouds afre formed then the rain falls moving forward, dry air continues over mountains after that dry winds reach inland areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 73 words. Because of this severe under-length penalty, the task cannot be fully developed. Although the student attempts to summarise the seven steps shown in the diagram, such as 'winds approaches the coast' and 'rain falls', the overview is overly simplistic and inaccurate (claiming that 'if one of the step is eliminated the whole process will be excluded'). Key geographical features such as the sea, the windward and leeward sides, mountains, and the rain-shadow desert are entirely omitted. Consequently, the response only minimally addresses the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is presented as a single short block rather than structured paragraphs, which negatively impacts overall cohesion. While the student attempts to sequence the steps using transitional phrases such as 'During the first step', 'afterwards', 'subsequently', and 'moving forward', the lack of proper punctuation (such as missing full stops and capital letters) creates run-on sentences. For instance, the sentence starting with 'During the first step...' continues without proper pauses or segmentation, making the flow difficult to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with spelling and word-form errors such as 'dessert' instead of 'desert' and 'afre' instead of 'are'. The student attempts some topic-related vocabulary like 'winds', 'moist air', 'clouds', and 'rain', but the range is severely limited. There is a lack of less common lexical items or precise geographical terminology required for an Academic Task 1 response, restricting the lexical score to a lower band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak, largely due to major punctuation and sentence boundary errors. The response contains severe run-on sentence structures, missing periods, and incorrect verb-subject agreement in places ('winds approaches'). Complex sentence structures are absent, and the writing consists mostly of a single, poorly punctuated chain of clauses. Frequent punctuation errors cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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