Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-20
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The diagram depicts the information about the single type of desert mountain is called a rain-shadow desert.
To commence with, the winds flows the upward direction to the desert from sea coast then moisture air rises and cools down and it change clouds form. with this windward side towards the mountain. Furthermore the rain falls into the desart top of desert then dry air continues over mountain.
In addition, with dry air the leward side down to the mountain. on top of it, air Dry winds reached the inland areas and making rain-shadow desert. Besides this, the wind covers thousand of kilometers because the mountain is not small in size.
overall, It is a recycling process and the winds flows upside to the mountain makes cloud and winds continuing flows in downside direction.
The diagram depicts the information about the single type of desert mountain is called a rain-shadow desert.
To commence with, the winds flows the upward direction to the desert from sea coast then moisture air rises and cools down and its change clouds form. with this windward side towards the mountain. Furthermore the rain falls into the desert top of desert then dry air continues over mountain.
In addition, with dry air the leward side down to the mountain. on top of it, air Dry winds reached the inland areas and making rain-shadow desert. Besides this, the wind covers thousand of kilometers because the mountain is not small in size.
overall, It is a recycling process and the winds flows upside to the mountain makes cloud and winds continuing flows in downside direction to make inland or Rain shadow desert.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to describe the process of rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram, covering most of the main stages such as winds approaching the coast, moist air rising and cooling to form clouds, rain falling on the windward side, and dry air continuing over the mountains to inland areas. However, the response is impaired by significant inaccuracies in describing the visual data and a repetitive structure. The student misinterprets parts of the process, such as stating 'rain falls into the desart top of desert,' whereas rain falls on the windward mountain slopes, creating the desert on the leeward side. Furthermore, the content is duplicated almost entirely within the text, presenting the same paragraph twice with minor variations. Because the core features are identified but confused in their precise mechanical sequence and relationships, this performance sits within Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text exhibits severe organizational issues, principally due to the duplication of the entire essay body, resulting in the same paragraphs being repeated consecutively. Within individual paragraphs, logical progression is disrupted by mechanical and confusing sequencing phrases such as 'To commence with' and 'In addition, with dry air the leward side down to the mountain.' Paragraphing is poorly handled because the repetition disrupts the overall flow and structure of a standard Task 1 response. While basic cohesive markers like 'Furthermore' and 'Besides this' are employed, referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact progression of the diagram. Consequently, coherence and cohesion do not meet the standards required for Band 6.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates a very basic and limited vocabulary range that is frequently imprecise or inappropriate for an academic description. Words and phrases such as 'single type of desert mountain,' 'moisture air,' and 'recycling process' show weak lexical control and non-standard collocations. Spelling errors and awkward word formations are evident, including 'desart' and 'leward.' The student attempts some less common topic vocabulary such as 'inland areas' and 'windward side,' but these are outweighed by repetitive and inaccurate lexical choices that occasionally impede understanding. The vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic topic, placing it firmly at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammar is characterized by a very limited range of structures and frequent, heavy errors. Simple sentences predominate, and attempts at complex or descriptive clauses are consistently faulty. Examples of grammatical errors include 'the winds flows the upward direction,' 'its change clouds form,' 'air Dry winds reached,' and 'winds continuing flows in downside direction.' Subject-verb agreement errors, incorrect prepositions, and tense confusion occur throughout the text. Punctuation is also weak, with sentences frequently starting without capital letters or run-on structures. These persistent errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 4 level of grammatical control.
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