Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The flow chart illustrate single type of desert known as a rain-shadow desert.
Overall, the picture of rain-shadow desert have seven distinct stages. The diagram began with wind approach coast, and the final stage is dry winds reach inland regions.
To begin with the sea upper side air. The air travelled the rise side and close to the mountain while air moved to the up side and mix the winds. Then winds pushed to the upwards with mix moist air and cool windward side. Next move to the clouds shape.
On the other hand clouds moved rain falls and then dry air moved continuously over the mountains. leeward side And final stage dry wind reach the inland areas.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to describe the seven stages of rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram, beginning with winds approaching the coast and ending with dry winds reaching inland regions. However, the explanation of the intermediate stages is extremely fragmented and difficult to follow. The student mentions key concepts like 'moist air rises', 'clouds form', and 'rain falls', but the overall reporting lacks clarity and fails to fully explain the relationship between the geographic features (sea, windward side, mountains, leeward side) and the meteorological process. Furthermore, the response falls significantly short of the required 150-word minimum, containing only 118 words. This under-length penalty restricts the task achievement score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text is divided into four very short paragraphs, attempting to use transition markers such as 'Overall', 'To begin with', and 'On the other hand'. However, the logical progression breaks down frequently due to fragmented syntax and confusing sequencing. Sentences like 'Next move to the clouds shape' and 'leeward side And final stage dry wind reach the inland areas' demonstrate faulty cohesion and awkward phrasing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information smoothly from one stage of the process to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical range is very basic and repetitive. The student uses simple terms found directly in the prompt, such as 'desert', 'wind', 'coast', 'clouds', and 'rain'. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors, such as 'picture of rain-shadow desert have seven distinct stages' instead of 'diagram shows seven distinct stages', and 'wind approach coast' instead of 'winds approach the coast'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary are unsuccessful, which impedes clear communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. There is a heavy reliance on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex or descriptive clauses are severely flawed, resulting in ungrammatical strings such as 'The air travelled the rise side and close to the mountain while air moved to the up side and mix the winds.' Subject-verb agreement errors, missing articles, and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'wind approach coast', 'clouds moved rain falls') are frequent and often obscure the intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.
