Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrate the process involved in the formation of rain-shadow deserts.

Overall, A striking feature of the data was how thousands of kiometres long mountains plays a crucial role by passing winds appoach coast upwards in moist air and cool windward side of the mountains, afterward the dramatic drop of dry air over the mountains towards inland areas.

Initially, in the first process the winds from sea levels raises upwards to the windward silde to the huge mountains, which causes the creation of clouds, in addition to that when these clouds hit with the top of the mountains. clouds blasted and small drops of waters fall from the sky towards the inland, and residential areas, furthermore that drastic drop of dry winds toward the leewards side of the mountains creates the formation of rain-shadow desert.

moreover,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 137 words, which negatively impacts Task Achievement. Content-wise, the student attempts to describe the seven-step process of rain-shadow desert formation, noting how winds approach the coast, rise over mountains, form clouds, and create precipitation on the windward side before descending as dry air onto the leeward side. However, the overview is extremely awkward and difficult to follow ('thousands of kiometres long mountains plays a crucial role by passing winds appoach coast upwards'), and the description trails off incompletely at the end with 'moreover,'. Key features are partially covered, but the under-length penalty and incomplete presentation prevent a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are severely compromised by poor paragraphing, abrupt transitions, and an incomplete ending. The text attempts to use sequential markers such as 'Initially' and 'furthermore', but the logical flow breaks down due to confusing sentence structures. The final paragraph consists only of the word 'moreover,', showing a complete lack of paragraphing control and structural completeness. Referencing and cohesive ties are frequently mechanical or unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of the natural process being described.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and heavily flawed by spelling and word choice errors. Examples include 'kiometres', 'appoach', 'silde', and 'leewards'. The student attempts some less common terms related to the diagram, such as 'windward', 'leeward', and 'rain-shadow desert', but these are undermined by frequent inaccuracies in collocation and phrasing (e.g., 'clouds blasted', 'small drops of waters fall'). The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, but lexical control is weak throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors that occasionally impede communication. The response contains severe subject-verb agreement issues and run-on sentences, such as 'The diagram illustrate...' and '...the winds from sea levels raises upwards to the windward silde to the huge mountains, which causes the creation of clouds...'. Simple sentences are poorly constructed, and complex structures are attempted with a high degree of error. Punctuation is also misused, leading to fragmented thoughts and ungrammatical clauses.

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