Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The map illustrates how a mountain range leaves moist air on one side by leaving the other side dry.

Overall, wind collects water from the sea and it pushed upward on the top where it converts into rain which automatically makes a air dry before reaching the inland areas.

For the formation of rain shadow deserts, on the one side of the mountain range sea is located where wind approaches its coast and gathers some water then from the coast wind tends to move upward as the wind move toward the high altitude moisture in the air began to rise and its temperature decreases which converts water into clouds after reaching on the top due to low temperature it starts to rain , leaving air completely dry as wind continues to move on the leeward side wind is completely dry and approaches the inland areas without any moisture which makes rain shadow desert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to describe the process of rain-shadow desert formation, identifying key stages such as winds approaching the coast, rising over mountains, cooling, cloud formation, and precipitation on the windward side, followed by dry air moving over the leeward side. However, the overview is somewhat confused, stating that the mountain range 'leaves moist air on one side by leaving the other side dry.' Furthermore, the response is presented as a single massive block of text with only two sentences, which impacts the overall clarity of the reporting. While the main features are touched upon, the lack of paragraphing and somewhat imprecise phrasing mean that ideas are not fully developed or organised into a clear, logical summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are severely compromised by the structure of the essay. The response consists of just two extremely long, run-on sentences, completely lacking standard paragraphing. There are no clear paragraph breaks to separate the introduction, overview, and body details. Furthermore, cohesive devices are weak or absent, and punctuation is misused (e.g., comma splices such as '...clouds form after reaching on the top due to low temperature it starts to rain...'). This creates a very repetitive and difficult reading flow, as ideas bleed into one another without logical signposts or clear progression.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a basic, minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some topic-specific terms such as 'moisture', 'altitude', 'precipitation', 'leeward side', and 'inland areas'. However, word choice and collocations are occasionally awkward or inaccurate, such as 'makes a air dry', 'gathers some water', and 'wind is completely dry and approaches'. There are also minor lexical errors in preposition use and word forms. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general topic, it lacks the precision and flexibility expected at higher band levels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on endless, poorly connected clauses joined by conjunctions like 'and' or comma splices. There is an almost complete absence of effective punctuation, leading to run-on sentences that stretch across multiple lines. While the student attempts some complex structures (e.g., 'as the wind move toward the high altitude moisture in the air began to rise'), these are frequently faulty and lack correct tense consistency and subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'wind... it pushed upward', 'moisture... began'). Frequent grammatical errors cause strain and confusion for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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