Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given diagram shows how one type of desert,known as rain-shadow desert,is formed.There are steps in the figure.
In general we can see the how from the sea level wind approach and how the cloud get together. Then the rain falls.After that how rain-shadow desert happens.
The first step is wind approach from the coast.Like wise the second step is winds pushed upwards from the sea level.The third step is the moist air rises and cools the temperature.The fourth step the cloud has formed from the wind ward side.The fifth step is the rain fall is the main step.After the rain fall in the mountain. The windward transfers to leeward side.The sixth process is dry air continues over mountain in leeward side.The seventh step is the dry winds reach inland areas.At the last after this whole over steps complete the the dry winds reaches in inland anfd the rain-shadow desert complete.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The student makes an attempt to describe the stages of a rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram, meeting the minimum word count requirement. However, the response falls short of fully satisfying the task requirements due to a weak overview and limited detail. The introduction ('There are steps in the figure') and overview ('In general we can see the how from the sea level wind approach...') are extremely basic, ungrammatical, and fail to clearly highlight the overall mechanism or key stages. Furthermore, the body paragraphs simply mechanically list 'the first step', 'the second step', and so on, without effectively synthesising or contrasting the windward and leeward sides. Key geographic features such as the sea, mountains, and inland areas are mentioned disjointly rather than integrated into a cohesive summary. This corresponds to Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response is divided into an introduction and a body paragraph, but the internal organisation and progression of ideas are severely hampered by poor cohesion and repetitive phrasing. Phrases like 'The first step is...', 'Like wise the second step is...', and 'The third step is...' create a mechanical and monotonous structure reminiscent of a checklist rather than a coherent academic essay. Referencing and logical connectors are frequently misused or clumsy, such as 'At the last after this whole over steps complete the the dry winds reaches in inland anfd the rain-shadow desert complete.' Paragraphing is poorly handled, as the overview is lumped awkwardly into the introductory paragraph. This level of organisation aligns with Band 4.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct lifting or awkward paraphrasing of the prompt's labels (e.g., 'wind approach from the coast', 'winds pushed upwards', 'moist air rises and cools'). There are noticeable word-choice errors and non-standard collocations throughout, such as 'cloud get together', 'wind ward side', 'rain fall is the main step', and 'over steps'. The range of vocabulary is extremely limited and inadequate for a standard academic task, frequently causing strain for the reader and restricting the score to Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the text, featuring frequent errors that impede clarity and distort meaning. There are pervasive issues with basic sentence structures, verb forms, and word classes, such as 'we can see the how from the sea level wind approach', 'the cloud has formed from the wind ward side', and 'the dry winds reaches in inland anfd the rain-shadow desert complete.' Simple sentences are often poorly constructed, and attempts at more complex structures result in tangled syntax and glaring errors (e.g., missing auxiliary verbs and incorrect prepositions). Punctuation and spacing issues (such as missing spaces after commas) are also present. These characteristics place the response firmly at Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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