Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram illustrate that how one type of rain-shadow desert will be formed.

Overall, the diagram shows that how sea, air and temperature contributed in our environment to form the rain-shadow desert.This diagram shows the seventh tep process and that shows that this process is of the thousdands of kilometres.

In this diagram, mountains is shown between the sea and desert. The wind contribution is seen mainly in the diagram that it firstly approaches to the sea and then sea coastle pushes that wind and winds gets collapse with the mountain and then when the wind goes at higher altitude the moist air rises and get cools that led it to form the clouds and the it led them to rain falls at the 6th tep the air comes after the rain comes down and gets dry this point is known as leeward side. In seventh step dry wind reached the inland areas and the whole full processs led that to the formation of rain-shadow desert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student attempts to summarise the diagram showing the formation of rain-shadow deserts, covering the main steps from winds approaching the coast to reaching inland areas. However, the response suffers from significant weaknesses in selection and reporting. The overview paragraph is extremely vague and repetitive ('shows that how sea, air and temperature contributed...'). Furthermore, there are awkward phrasings and slight inaccuracies in describing the sequence, such as 'sea coastle pushes that wind' and confusing numbering ('at the 6th tep the air comes...'). While the overall concept is identifiable, the lack of precision and underdeveloped overview place this firmly in the lower-middle band.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response is divided into an introduction, an overview/body paragraph, and a detailed description paragraph, demonstrating some basic structure. However, paragraphing is poorly handled; the overview is mashed together with redundant summary statements and typos ('seventh tep process'). Cohesive devices are basic and repetitive ('and then', 'and when', 'and the'). The progression of ideas becomes muddled in the final paragraph, where multiple steps of the process are run together into a single, highly convoluted run-on sentence without proper punctuation or logical signposting, making it difficult to follow the sequence smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and often imprecise. The student relies heavily on simple words and repeats terms like 'diagram', 'wind', and 'process' multiple times. There are also several lexical errors and non-standard word forms, such as 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrates', 'coastle' instead of 'coastal', 'thousdands', 'get cools', and 'tep' instead of 'step'. While the core topic vocabulary is present ('mountains', 'moist air', 'clouds', 'rain-shadow desert'), the frequent word-formation errors and restricted range limit the effectiveness of communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of faulty complex sentences and a heavy reliance on coordinating conjunctions like 'and'. There are fundamental grammar and punctuation errors throughout, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('This diagram illustrate', 'mountains is shown'), redundant phrasing ('shows that how'), and severe run-on sentences lacking appropriate punctuation. For instance, the final sentence connects multiple clauses with 'and' continuously without a break. Errors are frequent and often impede the clarity of the descriptions, pulling the score down to this level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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