Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustreat how one type of desert,known as a rain-shadow desert,is forme.

Overall, the cycle of rain begain with Winds approach coast, and its end with Drt winds reach inland areas, after travle thousands of kilometres .

First of all,the cycle start from the sea, by winds appruach coast because of windward side, after that, it puched upwards of the mountains, than moist air rise the mountain and cools, to made and take clouds form,finaly the rain falls on the top of mountains as arsulr of rain fu.

Secoundly, dry air continues over mountain because of the leeward side ,as a counsequence dry water reach inland areas and what make the rain shaow desret . Due to lack of moisture in the air,a vast and arid region known as rain shadow desert is created far from the coast.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe the formation of a rain-shadow desert by summarising the stages from the diagram, mentioning the sea, winds, clouds, rain, and the leeward side. However, the word count is 139 words, which fails to meet the minimum requirement of 150 words, leading to a direct penalty in this criterion. Furthermore, the overview is extremely basic and lacks a well-developed summary of the main features. Several steps are described with confusing phrasing or minor inaccuracies, such as 'moist air rise the mountain and cools, to made and take clouds form'. While the student identifies the core mechanism, the under-development of the overview and failure to meet the length requirement limit the score to Band 4.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the logical progression is hindered by frequent structural and mechanical issues. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or incorrectly, such as 'First of all,the cycle start from the sea, by winds appruach coast...' and 'Secoundly, dry air continues over mountain...'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and punctuation errors disrupt the flow of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak, making it difficult to follow the sequence of the process smoothly. Overall, the organization aligns best with Band 4.5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'rain-shadow desert', 'moist air', 'leeward side', and 'moisture'. However, there is a very limited range of vocabulary, and spelling and word-choice errors are pervasive throughout the text. Examples of spelling and morphological errors include 'illustreat' instead of 'illustrates', 'forme' instead of 'formed', 'begain' instead of 'begins', 'appruach' instead of 'approach', 'puched' instead of 'pushed', 'arsulr' instead of 'a result', 'counsequence' instead of 'consequence', and 'shaow desret' instead of 'shadow desert'. These errors frequently strain the reader and reflect a basic lexical repertoire, corresponding to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response shows a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple clauses that are poorly controlled. There are persistent, major grammatical errors in almost every sentence. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the cycle of rain begain', 'winds appruach coast'), incorrect verb forms ('moist air rise', 'to made and take clouds form'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also poorly handled, with spaces missing after commas and periods. Complex structures are attempted but are consistently faulty (e.g., 'as a counsequence dry water reach inland areas and what make the rain shaow desret'). This level of accuracy and range fits the Band 4.0 descriptors.

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