Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the given diagram depicts about the life cycle of rain with seven different approach such as winds approach, wind pushed upwards, moist air rises and cools, cloud form, rain falls, dry air continues over mountain, and dry winds rech inland areas.overall, iyt explains the complete process how rain happens and how rain is formed from stage one to stage seven with different functionalities of each stage.

In the very first stage water gets evoporated through winds approach, waters converts into air particles with moisture in it and starts moving into upward direction then the moist air becomes after this cloud formation is done after this rain is formed then it starts raining.

onces the rain reaches the mountains the dryness present in the rain in the form of air reaces the mountain and it gets going to the downward direction of the mountain it reaches to the iland, thus this process continues to produce the rain.

In conclusion, the formation of rain is ]time taking process which is done through the seven steps eac step plays an vitual role in creation of rain.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes a minimal attempt to address the prompt, but it fails to accurately report the main features of the rain-shadow desert formation. Instead of describing a geographical and meteorological process, the student misinterprets the diagram as a 'life cycle of rain' and confuses key concepts, stating incorrectly that 'water gets evaporated through winds approach' and that the process 'continues to produce the rain.' Furthermore, the description of stages is highly superficial and inaccurate regarding the scientific mechanism shown in the visual data. To reach a higher level, the response needs to accurately capture the stages of moist air rising, precipitation on the windward side, and the creation of a dry rain-shadow desert on the leeward side of the mountains.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response shows some basic organization, attempting an introduction, body details, and a conclusion, but information and ideas are not arranged coherently. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with run-on sentences and inadequate spacing, such as combining distinct stages awkwardly in the second and third paragraphs. Cohesive devices are very basic and frequently inaccurate, relying on repetitive phrases like 'after this' and 'onces the rain reaches'. The lack of clear progression and faulty referencing makes it difficult for the reader to follow the sequential flow of the diagram. To improve, the student must use accurate transition signals, logical paragraph breaks for each phase of the process, and clear referencing pronouns.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on direct lifting or awkward rephrasings of the prompt's words, such as 'winds approach', 'wind pushed upwards', and 'dry winds rech inland areas'. There are noticeable lexical errors and incorrect word choices, including spelling mistakes like 'evoporated', 'iyt', 'onces', 'reaces', 'iland', 'eac', and 'vitual' instead of vital. These errors and the limited vocabulary range strain the reader and reflect a restricted ability to discuss scientific or geographical processes. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to incorporate a wider range of appropriate topical vocabulary, such as precipitation, evaporation, moisture, and arid conditions, while eliminating spelling errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of poorly constructed simple and run-on sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('waters converts', 'cloud formation is done'), missing articles ('reaches to the iland'), and incorrect prepositional usage ('in the form of air reaces'). Punctuation and capitalization are also poorly controlled, evidenced by missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and after full stops, alongside comma splices. To progress, the writer must focus on forming grammatically sound simple and complex sentences, improving clause connection, and maintaining correct tense and agreement consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.