Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

in this diagram we see the cycle of the water at first the wind reached at the coast and then moved upward to the mountains top then the water molucules cools the in the air then they turned into a clouds and the wind start moving up and when cloud reached at the top or near the top of mountains the rain falls that means when water mouecules that is in the air getting cold the turnd into cloud form and gradually descrease the temprature and cause into raining whe the rain fall the water molecules droped and the wind is dried and then winds moved forward and that wind is dry , so that's why air thats crossed the mountains that is dry and hot then the extra air moves to the ground so that's why the ground wind has less moistrioser this cycle contains thousands of kilomiters. the wind that is moves on ground that travel again on the see and get the water molucules in it and the cycle again start. this is loop that creat the nature no human can change this cycle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting an account of the rain-shadow desert formation process based on the diagram. However, the information is somewhat disjointed and lacks a clear, structured overview. While the sequence of steps is generally followed from the coast over the mountains to inland areas, the development of ideas is limited. For instance, parts of the process are overly repetitive or lack clarity, such as the descriptions of temperature changes and cloud formation. To reach a higher band, the writer would need to select and report the main features more clearly and present a well-developed overview of the entire natural cycle without wandering into philosophical statements at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic organisation in the text, reflecting the sequential nature of the diagram, but there is no clear overall progression or paragraphing. The response is written as a single dense block of text, which makes it difficult to follow the flow of information. Cohesive devices are extremely limited and repetitive, heavily relying on 'and then', 'so', and 'that's why'. Referencing is also unclear in places, such as pronoun use referring back to previous clauses. To improve, the writer needs to group related ideas into distinct paragraphs and use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect stages logically and smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and spelling throughout the response, such as 'molucules' instead of molecules, 'descrease' instead of decrease, 'temprature', 'moistrioser', and 'kilomiters'. The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary like 'cycle', 'moist', 'wind', and 'mountain', but spelling and word formation mistakes occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their lexical range beyond basic terms and ensure correct spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, primarily consisting of simple clauses strung together with coordinating conjunctions like 'and'. When complex structures or dependent clauses are attempted, they are often faulty, leading to run-on sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms ('the wind reached at the coast', 'the rain fall', 'the wind that is moves'), and a complete lack of standard punctuation or capitalisation. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer needs to learn how to punctuate sentences correctly and use a greater variety of accurate grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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