Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The formation of rain shadow desert have many step how wind pushed upward and moist form and Rain come and it go the downward and Rain-shadow desert formed. First wind is hot and when it reach on sea from become cool when it goes up moist in air formed and when it cool down the cloud is framed and then cloud fall the rain on mountain now dry air become low dense and come down in inland opposite direction from where it come. The rain wat store in land of rain shadow.

As due to low weight air go up and then cool down moist from and it change into cloud and rainfall start same as air become again lower in weight and come to earth this process complete in many kilometers to end up and same air from as before this step again and again from for the rainfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response makes an attempt to describe the process shown in the diagram, such as mentioning that winds are pushed upward, moist air forms, and rain falls on the mountains to create a rain-shadow desert. However, the information is presented in a very minimal and fragmented way. Many stages are either omitted or described with significant confusion, such as the statement that 'wind is hot and when it reach on sea from become cool.' The overview is largely missing, and the connection between the windward side, the mountains, and the leeward inland area is only partially and unclearly addressed. To move to a higher band, the writer would need to present a clear overview of the overall process and accurately report all key stages of the rain-shadow desert formation in a logical sequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response is organized into two paragraphs, but the information and ideas are not arranged coherently. Progression is difficult to follow because sentences lack clear logical links and referencing is frequently confusing, as seen in phrases like 'this process complete in many kilometers to end up and same air from as before this step again and again.' Cohesive devices are very basic or missing, and repetition occurs throughout the text, such as repeating the cycle of air rising and clouds forming without moving the narrative forward. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to group related information logically, use a wider and more accurate range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and stages, and ensure that referencing is clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, relying on simple words like 'wind', 'rain', 'hot', 'cool', and 'air'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that strain the reader, such as writing 'moist form', 'Rain come', 'cloud fall the rain', and 'The rain wat store'. Spelling and morphological mistakes, such as 'reach' instead of 'reaches' or 'wat' for 'water', also appear. To improve lexical resource, the writer should build a broader vocabulary suited for describing scientific processes and geographical phenomena, such as 'evaporation', 'precipitation', 'moisture', and 'altitude', and pay closer attention to correct word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are frequent errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'The formation of rain shadow desert have many step', 'when it reach on sea', and 'air go up and then cool down'. Punctuation is also weak, making long sentences run together awkwardly. These frequent errors can cause difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of sentence structures with control over grammatical patterns, verb forms, and articles, significantly reducing the frequency of basic errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.