Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram shows one type of desert took thousands of kilometres to formation in rain - shadow desert.

The mountain down side ,there is sea amd coast areas ,winds approach coast sides then winds pushed upwards there are moist air light and rises upward it formation of clouds.they are travel through wind.Its carry huge amount of water then it contains 100% amounts of water its starts rain in peak of mountain area one side of mountain.On the other side of mountain is leeward area there is get less rain .then dry air continues over mountain.In desert area are present dry wind and its is moist free don't contain water so it is reason to other side of desert is leeward area .this side dry winds reach inland area . Inland are those are to covered by water .its are present cold air is are heavy so move downside .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general process and include several relevant stages: winds approach the coast, rise over the mountains, clouds form, rain falls, and dry winds continue inland. However, the account is incomplete and sometimes misrepresents the diagram. There is no clear overview of the key contrast between rain on the windward side and dry conditions creating a desert on the leeward side. The claim that the desert “took thousands of kilometres to formation” misreads the scale label, which indicates distance rather than duration, and “Inland are those are to covered by water” contradicts the diagram. The response also falls one word short of the required minimum. Add a concise overview and describe the stages accurately, without introducing unsupported details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Some sequence is apparent: the response moves from winds approaching the coast to rising air, rainfall, and dry winds reaching inland areas. This gives the reader a basic sense of the process. However, the information is presented as one long, loosely connected paragraph, and progression is difficult to follow because many ideas are joined with repeated “then” and “and.” References such as “it,” “they,” and “this side” are often unclear, while the shift to “cold air” at the end is abrupt and not linked to the preceding explanation. Organise the stages into a clear beginning, middle, and outcome, and use precise links such as “as a result” only where the relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant process vocabulary, including “moist air,” “clouds,” “rain,” “dry air,” “leeward,” and “inland.” These terms show an attempt to describe the diagram rather than relying entirely on general language. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate or awkward expressions make the meaning difficult to interpret, such as “mountain down side,” “moist free,” and “100% amounts of water.” Some word choices also misstate the visual information: “took thousands of kilometres to formation” treats a distance label as time, and “covered by water” does not describe inland areas in the diagram. Use standard process terms and choose words that report only what the diagram shows.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to connect stages into longer sentences, for example, “winds approach coast sides then winds pushed upwards,” but control of sentence structure is very limited. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “winds pushed upwards,” “it formation of clouds,” and “In desert area are present dry wind” are difficult to process. The final sentence, “its are present cold air is are heavy so move downside,” contains several clauses without a clear grammatical structure. Most sentences need substantial repair, so meaning is sometimes obscured. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “when,” “as,” and “therefore.”

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