Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram gives us information about the formation of rain-shadow. Initially, I see wind approach from the sea. Then wind pushed the sea water upwards. After that moist air rises and cools. The clouds are made from the moist air. At the end the is start falling. The rain is falling on the top of the mountain. After the rain stops falling. Dry air was start crossing over the mountain. When the dry air start flowing over the mountain they fell down on the land areas. In this method dry air was flowing on the land areas.

The wind approaches from the sea water are going to the thousand of kilometres and pushed it upward to the top of the mountain. Overall, when the the rain is start falling the water of rain in the shape of the flood comes from the mountain and reach at the land area to travel thousands of kilometres distance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant stages, including wind arriving from the sea, moist air rising and cooling, cloud formation, rainfall, and dry air crossing the mountain. However, the account does not clearly explain the key outcome: dry winds descend on the leeward side and reach inland areas, creating a rain-shadow desert. The claim that rainwater forms a flood and travels thousands of kilometres is not shown in the diagram and misrepresents the process; the distance label indicates the horizontal scale. There is also no clear overview of the process as a whole. To improve, summarise the contrast between rainfall on the windward side and dry conditions inland, then describe the stages accurately and avoid adding unsupported events.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows some of the diagram’s sequence, using markers such as “Initially,” “Then,” and “After that,” so the reader can recognise a basic order. However, progression becomes unclear and repetitive: the movement of dry air is described several times, while the final paragraph returns to the wind and introduces an unrelated flood. The two paragraphs do not have distinct functions, and references such as “it” in “pushed it upward” are unclear. Organise the report into a brief overview followed by a chronological account, and use linking expressions only where they clarify the relationship between stages. This would make the sequence easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “moist air,” “cools,” “clouds,” “dry air,” and “mountain,” which helps communicate the general topic. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “wind approach from the sea” and “the water of rain in the shape of the flood.” The latter suggests an event absent from the diagram, while repeated use of “start” and “falling” makes the description imprecise. Choose vocabulary that names the process accurately, such as “precipitation,” “windward,” “leeward,” and “descend,” and avoid repeating the same basic terms when a more precise alternative is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect stages with simple clauses and time markers, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently make relationships difficult to understand. Examples include “wind approach” instead of “winds approach,” “wind pushed” without a suitable tense or passive form, and “the start falling,” which lacks a correctly formed verb phrase. Tense shifts between “approach,” “was start,” and “are going” also make the process inconsistent. Sentence structures are mostly simple, with some attempted longer sentences that become faulty, such as “When the dry air start flowing … they fell down.” Practise accurate present-simple descriptions of processes and build longer sentences only when the verb forms and references remain clear.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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