Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrate the formation of rain shadow deserts.

Overall,the sea is highly coast mountains. The mountains upward the air on the windward side and the other hand mountains over side dry and winds reach areas.

mountains thousands of kilometres desert.

The sea side is highly pressure approch cost and mountains is upward pushed winds. the cloud change in sy and mosit air rises and cools air cool converting in cloud form and state the rain in uper mountain.the side is very could and raine.

On the other hand mountains the leeard side is very dry and air continues over mountain. they side adcancher side mountain dry inland area is counverted in rain shadow desert, the mountain all desert in thousands od kilometress on the mountains other side. mountain iner side is coast highly preesure in air and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the topic and mention several relevant stages, including air rising and cooling, cloud formation, rainfall, and dry air moving inland. However, the account is incomplete and some key relationships are difficult to understand: the overview does not clearly summarise the process, and the windward-to-leeward sequence is only partly conveyed. Phrases such as “the sea is highly coast mountains” and “the mountain all desert” do not accurately explain the diagram. The response also ends with an unfinished idea. The required minimum of 150 words is not met; the response is 12 words short. To improve, describe each stage in order and clearly state that moist winds from the sea rise over the mountains, lose moisture as rain, and then create dry conditions inland.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The phrases “Overall” and “On the other hand” also show an effort to guide the reader through the description. However, the progression is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or placed in unclear sequences, and several sentences are fragments, such as “mountains thousands of kilometres desert.” Connections between stages are often missing, so the reader must infer how cloud formation, rainfall, and dry inland winds relate. Use one paragraph for the overall process and then describe the stages in chronological order, with clear links such as “as a result” and “after crossing the mountain.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “windward side,” “rain shadow desert,” “moist air,” and “rain,” showing awareness of the diagram’s subject. However, the range is basic and repeated, while frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make several descriptions hard to interpret. For example, “approch cost,” “mosit,” “leeard,” and “adcancher” obscure the intended terms, and “highly pressure” does not clearly describe the winds shown. Aim for accurate process vocabulary and check spelling carefully. Useful alternatives include “approach the coast,” “rise,” “condense,” “precipitation,” and “leeward side”; these will help you describe the stages more precisely without repeating “mountain” and “dry” so often.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, including “the cloud change in sy and mosit air rises and cools,” but control of sentence structure is very limited. Errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently: “The diagram illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “the mountains upward the air” lacks a clear verb construction. Several clauses run together without punctuation, and the final sentence is incomplete. These problems often distort the intended meaning. Practise building accurate simple sentences first—for example, “Moist air rises over the mountains and cools. Clouds then form, and rain falls on the windward side”—before combining stages with conjunctions.

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