Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The figure illustrates the formation of a rain-shadow dersert.Overall, the formation is conducted in 7 stages, which includes environmental changes and these changes occurs by surrounding thousands of kilometres.

Intially, the winds from the sea travel towars the coastal area. This winds near the coast blows in upwards direction Once this winds reach at certain height of the mountains, here it air becomes cooler and air is rises reaching windward side, where accumulation of air is held. This accumulated air, is formed into clouds. In contrast, the mist air absorbed, fromation of dense coluds leading to rainfall on the top of the mountains.

The rainfall droplets fall in downward direction over the mountains. These dropleair

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and indicate that the process has seven stages, and you describe some early events: winds approach the coast, rise over the mountains, cool, form clouds and produce rain. However, the account is only partial and stops before explaining the crucial leeward stages: dry air crossing the mountain, dry winds reaching inland, and the resulting rain-shadow desert. The overview is also unclear: “these changes occurs by surrounding thousands of kilometres” misinterprets the scale label, which indicates distance rather than a process condition. The response is 35 words below the required minimum, leaving important stages undeveloped. To improve, give a clear overview of the sea-to-inland sequence and report all key stages accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an opening statement is followed by a general overview and a paragraph describing the early stages. The sequence from coastal winds to cloud formation and rainfall is partly traceable, and “In contrast” attempts to connect ideas. However, the progression is interrupted by unclear or incomplete sentences, especially “These dropleair,” and the process never reaches its inland outcome. Connections such as “Once” and “where” do not consistently clarify how one stage leads to the next, while “In contrast” does not express a clear contrast. Use separate, complete stages in chronological order and link them with precise transitions such as “as a result” and “after crossing the mountain.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant process vocabulary, including “coastal area,” “windward side,” “clouds,” “rainfall” and “mountains,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled choices make parts difficult to understand: “dersert,” “Intially,” “towars,” “mist air,” and “dense coluds.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “accumulation of air is held” and “rainfall droplets fall in downward direction.” Choose precise terms from the diagram, particularly “moist air,” “rises,” “cools,” “leeward side,” and “dry winds.” Proofreading spelling and using natural process collocations would make the description clearer and more appropriate for an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some complex sentence forms, for example, “Once this winds reach at certain height of the mountains,” but control is weak and errors frequently affect clarity. Agreement is inconsistent in “the formation … includes” and “these changes occurs,” while “This winds … blows” also mismatches subject and verb. There are problems with articles and sentence construction in “at certain height” and “here it air becomes cooler,” and the sentence beginning “In contrast” is difficult to parse. Punctuation is also missing after “direction,” creating a run-on sequence. Aim first for accurate simple sentences, then add subordinate clauses; check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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