Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the digram illustrate 7 major steps to the formation of rain shadows in desert areas.

initiate from sea water winds aproach towards seashore after pushed to upwards than air become cool and rises and flow upwards.however,winds make cloud forms in atmospher.after that cloud start rain to downwards.

on the other hand dry winds continues flow over the mountain leewards side than dry air reach on inland areas.wind get hot and loose moisture at ground level over thousnd of koilometers place.

averall procces start from hot sea water then reach to cold air start making cloud and fall towards ground.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the process as having seven stages and include its broad movement from the sea, over the mountains, and towards inland areas. However, several key details are unclear or inaccurate: the diagram shows moist air rising and cooling, clouds forming, and rain falling on the windward side; it does not say that the process begins with hot seawater. The final claim that winds “get hot” is also not shown. The overview is vague and does not clearly explain how the dry leeward area becomes a rain-shadow desert. The response is also 51 words below the required minimum, leaving important stages under-described. To improve, report the sequence precisely and explain the contrast between rainfall on the windward side and dry conditions inland.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to follow the process in order, moving from winds approaching the coast to rain and then dry air travelling inland. This gives the reader some sense of the sequence. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, and the links between stages are often unclear. For example, “after pushed to upwards than air become cool and rises” does not make the relationship between uplift, cooling, and cloud formation easy to follow. “On the other hand” suggests a contrast, but the transition to dry winds would be clearer as the next stage in the same process. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and details, and connect each stage with accurate sequencing phrases such as “as a result” and “subsequently”.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “winds,” “cloud,” “rain,” “mountain,” and “inland areas,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the description difficult to interpret, such as “digram,” “aproach,” “loose moisture,” and “thousnd of koilometers.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “cloud start rain to downwards” and “wind get hot.” Aim for precise terms from the diagram, such as “moist air,” “precipitation,” “windward side,” and “leeward side,” and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would help communicate the stages without requiring the reader to infer your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence and uses a few linking structures, but sentence forms are very limited and frequent grammatical errors sometimes obscure the process. For example, “winds aproach towards seashore after pushed to upwards” lacks a clear subject–verb structure and uses an incomplete passive construction. In “cloud start rain to downwards,” the verb pattern is not grammatical, while “dry winds continues” has a subject–verb agreement error. Articles and sentence boundaries are also often missing, and punctuation is inconsistent. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example: “As the moist air rises over the mountains, it cools and forms clouds.” Then check agreement, articles, and punctuation in each sentence.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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