Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-09
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The process chart despict the information about the rain system.Firstly,air pressure push the water toward sky and temperature become cool of water than it become in the form of clouds,fourthly,cloud become pressurise from air and and collaspe with mountains after this it has stared in the form of rain.All from that,in sixth form,dry wind running strongly over the mountain and water in leepward side,in the last process,dry air reach in near the earth surface and water reach in sands to downward in earth and make rain shadow desert ,it almost miles away from the caost surface.Overall,this process is countinue in all the years and strong wind put the pressure on water eveporation then it become cloud in upper side near the sky than moutains pressure the cloud and rain fall staerted in this forms.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the general subject and include several stages, such as winds approaching the coast, rain falling near the mountains, and dry air continuing inland. However, the account only minimally covers the diagram: it does not clearly explain that moist air is forced up the windward slope, cools, and forms clouds before precipitation, or distinguish the windward and leeward sides accurately. Claims about air pressure pushing water into the sky and water reaching the desert are not supported by the diagram. There is also no clear, accurate overview of the process. The response is 16 words below the required minimum, which further limits the detail you can provide. Describe the sequence and its outcome using only the information shown.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
You make an attempt to present events in sequence, using markers such as “Firstly,” “fourthly,” “after this,” and “in the last process.” This gives the reader some indication that the diagram describes stages. However, the stages are crowded into one long paragraph and several run-on sentences, so the progression is difficult to follow. Some links are unclear or inaccurate, particularly “All from that” and “in sixth form,” and the repeated “and” does not show how the ideas relate. Organise the response into a brief overview and a clearly ordered description, using one or two stages per sentence and precise links such as “as a result” or “then.”
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “clouds,” “rain,” “dry wind,” and “rain shadow desert,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand: “air pressure push the water toward sky,” “cloud become pressurise,” and “water reach in sands” do not accurately describe the diagram. Spelling errors such as “despict,” “collaspe,” and “eveporation” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise terms that match the visual, such as “moist air,” “rises,” “cools,” “precipitation,” and “leeward side,” and check spelling and word forms before finishing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts to connect several stages in longer sentences, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure meaning. For example, “air pressure push the water” has subject–verb agreement problems, while “temperature become cool of water than it become in the form of clouds” has unclear clause structure and verb forms. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or incorrectly used, as in “near the earth surface” and “over the mountain.” Punctuation is weak: there is no space after several full stops, and commas join ideas that need separate sentences. Use short, complete sentences first, then add a few accurate clauses with “when” or “as.”
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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