Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram illustrate the information rain how it framed from through out different stages and shower on rain-shadow desert.

Althogh, it start from the sea winds and go to the upword to the mountains and fillter the moist air and then it become clouds winds and clouds become the reason of the rain sometime it happen forsefully and continuancely and dry air continues over mountains reaching to the ground area and then leeward side dry winds reach inland areas.This procedure take a lots of time to reapeat it becouse deserts are alwayes hot with high tempratures. So, in these ares rain happen occacianally and that is enough for maintaing the temprature of that spacific place for a whole year.

In conclusion,we can say diffrent aspact contribute for the raining the Sea play a crucial role in it becouse it is the main reason of the rain to be happen it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad sequence from sea winds to mountains, rainfall, and dry air moving inland, which shows some understanding of the diagram. However, the account is only minimally focused on describing the process: there is no clear overview of the key pattern, and several stages are unclear or inaccurate. For example, “fillter the moist air” does not explain that moist air rises and cools, while “it become clouds winds” confuses cloud formation with wind. The claims that the process takes “a lots of time to reapeat” and that desert rain maintains temperatures throughout the year are not shown in the diagram. Focus on the illustrated stages and their cause-and-effect relationship, and avoid adding unsupported explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to present the process in sequence, using phrases such as “and then” and “then,” and the response has a concluding sentence. However, ideas are not arranged into clear stages or paragraphs, and the long middle passage combines several steps with unrelated claims, making the progression difficult to follow. The opening sentence is also unclear, so the reader is not given a reliable introduction to the process. The conclusion repeats the importance of the sea rather than summarising the overall formation. Use a short introduction and overview, then group the stages logically: moist air rises and rains on the windward side, while dry air crosses the mountains and reaches inland.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes some relevant process terms, including “moist air,” “mountains,” “leeward side,” and “inland areas,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is basic and many word choices, collocations, and spellings make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “rain how it framed,” “fillter the moist air,” and “clouds become the reason of the rain” are not natural or precise descriptions. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “Althogh,” “tempratures,” and “occacianally.” Build a small set of accurate process verbs and terms—such as rise, cool, condense, precipitate, and descend—and use them in clear, conventional combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect stages in longer sentences, but grammatical control is very limited, and frequent errors sometimes distort the intended meaning. For example, “This diagram illustrate” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “it start from the sea winds and go to the upword” contains problems with verb forms and sentence construction. In “dry air continues over mountains reaching to the ground area,” the relationship between the actions is unclear. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also weak, particularly in the extended middle sentence and the final fragment, “the main reason of the rain to be happen it.” Use short, complete sentences first, checking agreement and tense, then add simple clauses to show sequence and cause.

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