Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The formation of rain shadow deserts have many steps like approching of wind formation of clouds and dry wind etc. In this we will discuss many thing how rain forms and how it change into dry air.

The wind approch mountain from sea because of hight and end of the way it goes upwords. Air gets moist and cool and become clouds. Now, clouds have water and its how the rain become rain falls on the top of the mountain and also temperature rise.Dry air countinusly moving through the mountain because air comes from sea it is moist and with the pessage of tme it goes upwors it get moist and cooler and trasform into clouds and then rain.

There is many thousands kilomiteres from sea to desert. Air come form the mountain it countiusly moving from top of mountain and get dryand this how it reaches to irland areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the broad process—moist air rises, cools, forms clouds and produces rain, after which drier air moves inland—so the response is relevant to the diagram. However, the account is incomplete and some stages are unclear or inaccurate. It does not clearly explain that winds approach from the sea, are forced upwards by the mountains, and then continue over the leeward side before reaching the inland rain-shadow desert. The statement that “temperature rise” after rain is not supported by the diagram, and the repeated explanation of air becoming moist and cooling obscures the sequence. To strengthen the report, give a concise overview of the full sea-to-inland process, then describe each stage in order using the diagram’s labels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to move through the process from the sea and mountains towards inland areas, and phrases such as “Now” and “with the passage of time” signal some progression. However, the stages are not arranged clearly throughout: the second paragraph repeats the cloud-and-rain sequence after already describing it, while the final paragraph returns to the movement of air without a clear link to the earlier account. The opening also promises a discussion rather than presenting a clear overview. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and the ordered stages, and connect each step explicitly with sequence markers such as “as a result” and “finally.” This would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant process words, including “moist,” “clouds,” “rain,” “dry air” and “mountain,” which helps convey the general subject. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate or misspelled forms make the description harder to understand, such as “approching,” “countinusly,” “irland” and “pessage.” Some phrases are also imprecise for this diagram: “Air gets moist” does not clearly express that moist air rises and cools, while “rain become rain falls” is not a natural description of precipitation. Build a more precise process vocabulary, for example “prevailing winds,” “forced upwards,” “condenses,” “precipitation,” and “leeward side,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to link ideas in longer sentences, for example, “Air gets moist and cool and become clouds,” and use simple present forms to describe a process. However, control is weak: agreement errors (“The formation … have,” “There is many”), missing or incorrect articles, and faulty verb forms (“become clouds,” “it goes upwords”) occur repeatedly. Several sentences run together without effective punctuation, particularly the long explanation beginning “Dry air countinusly moving…,” so the relationships between stages are difficult to identify. Practise accurate simple present passive forms for processes, such as “the air is forced upwards” and “clouds are formed,” alongside shorter, correctly punctuated sentences. This will make the sequence clearer before you attempt more complex structures.

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