Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram displays a rain-shadow desert.

The rain-shadow structure begin from high level of winds came from sea to approach the winds coast after that it countiune the formation of rain-shadow into dry places of inland.

Formation of rain start from ocean bereez in very fast way and then uplilf into high distance moreover when it begin high the tempture of air conutinuely increase into cool air then after that these airs become in clouds form to start the rain.

Furthermore, rain falls from mountains then the waterfalls in different way even the dry winds contiunuly pouch the water fall and due to these high level of wind the rain water falls into rivers and in other areas of inland. thourght out the process of rain-shadow illustrate that the dry winds cross the areas in thousand of kilometers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the topic and mention several relevant stages, including winds coming from the sea, clouds forming, rain falling, and dry winds moving inland. However, the process is only minimally described, and some key relationships are unclear or inaccurate. The diagram shows moist air rising and cooling, then rain falling on the windward side; the air becomes dry as it crosses the mountain and reaches the inland rain-shadow desert. Your account instead says the air “increase into cool air” and suggests dry winds push water into rivers, which is not shown. There is no clear overview of the complete process. The response is also 12 words below the 150-word minimum. To improve, give a concise overview and accurately explain each stage and the contrast between the wet windward side and dry leeward side.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to present the process in sequence, using phrases such as “after that,” “then,” and “Furthermore.” This gives the reader some sense of progression from the sea towards inland areas. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure or distinct overview, and the sequence becomes difficult to follow when several stages are combined in long sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “Formation of rain start from ocean…” moves from wind to uplift, temperature, clouds, and rain without clear links between the steps. The final sentence also introduces the distance without connecting it clearly to the process. Organise the response into an overview and a step-by-step description, using accurate, varied linking phrases and clearer sentence boundaries.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “rain-shadow,” “mountains,” “clouds,” “dry winds,” and “inland,” so the subject is recognisable. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make the description difficult to understand. Examples include “countiune,” “uplilf,” “tempture,” and “thourght,” while phrases such as “high distance” and “waterfalls” do not accurately express the process shown. Some wording is also repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “after that” and “then.” Build a more precise set of process terms, such as “moist air,” “rise,” “cool,” “precipitation,” “windward,” and “leeward,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect several stages in longer sentences, and the response includes some sequencing clauses. However, grammatical control is weak: errors are frequent and sometimes obscure the intended meaning. For example, “The rain-shadow structure begin” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “when it begin high the tempture of air conutinuely increase into cool air” has unclear clause structure and inconsistent verb forms. Articles and sentence boundaries are also often missing or incorrectly handled, as in “these airs become in clouds form.” Most sentences rely on basic coordination rather than controlled variation. Practise writing one clear sentence for each stage, checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation before combining ideas into more complex structures.

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