Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

From the sea wind blew. and when wind is approaching at coast. Then the wind is pushed upward. when the wind which is blew from seamove upward it moist air rises and cool.the higher it goes it moist air rises and cools . when all this proses is completed the cloud will form.after the formation of cloud rain will fall .and when the wind move upward the moist air rises and cool and due to this rain also fall and air is stil dry continuous over the mountain . and when dry air move continues downward to the leeward side it remain dry .and when wind is moving upward it is windward side while the downward is leeward side.when all this proses is completed wind blew from sea and then it is pushed upward air is moist and cool and from the leeward side dry wind reach to the inland area . The inland area which is rain shadow desert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main sequence: wind comes from the sea, rises over the mountains, clouds form, rain falls, and dry air reaches inland to create the rain-shadow desert. This shows a basic understanding of the process. However, the account is only partly effective as a summary because it repeats the rising, cooling and rainfall stages several times, while the overall contrast between the wet windward side and dry leeward side is not clearly presented as the central feature. Some details are also unclear, such as “when all this proses is completed,” which does not explain a distinct stage. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview first, then describe each stage once in the correct order and clearly connect the dry inland conditions with the desert.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the broad order of the diagram, and words such as “Then,” “after” and “when” help signal sequence. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear stages or paragraphs, and the repeated use of “and when” makes the progression difficult to follow. For example, the explanation of rising moist air and rainfall appears more than once, and the final sentence repeats that wind begins at the sea before reaching inland. Some references are also hard to track, particularly “when all this proses is completed,” because it is unclear which part of the process this refers to. Organise the description into a brief overview and a logically ordered account, using clear links between each distinct stage.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use several relevant terms from the diagram, including “coast,” “moist air,” “windward side,” “leeward side” and “rain shadow desert.” These show that you can communicate the basic subject. However, the vocabulary is limited and some choices or forms make the description less clear, such as “wind blew from seamove upward” and “dry air move continues downward.” The spelling “proses” is also noticeable, and “cloud will form” is less suitable for describing a general process than a present-tense form. Aim to use precise process vocabulary consistently, including “ascend,” “cool,” “condense,” “precipitation” and “inland,” while checking spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect stages using clauses beginning with “when” and “after,” but most sentences are long and difficult to control. Errors in tense, agreement and sentence boundaries occur frequently: for example, “wind is approaching at coast” and “the wind move upward” do not use consistent verb forms, while “air is stil dry continuous over the mountain” has an unclear grammatical structure. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences beginning after a full stop with a lowercase letter. These problems sometimes make the sequence hard to understand. Practise writing short, complete sentences in the present simple for process descriptions, then add a few accurately formed clauses to show cause and sequence.

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