Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram depict how one type of desert, information as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

After analyzing the diagram it is evident , the formation of rain shadow deserts first the sea up of winds approach and next windspushed upwards and next up the moist aitr roses and cools and now create the clouds form and up the windward side and they increase on the mountains made a rain falls.

Further the diagram reveals , the rain are decreased on earth dry air continues over mountain . the dry winds reach on the earth inlands areas rains are full of on earth and rain desesrt inland.

Overall is that the evident the rain fall increase on the sea and winds approach coast and go on the mountaind and up and decrease in the earth and dry winds reach inland areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general subject and include several relevant stages, such as winds approaching the coast, rising over the mountains, rain falling, and dry air continuing inland. However, the account is difficult to follow and does not clearly explain the cause-and-effect sequence or distinguish the windward and leeward sides. The overview is also unclear: the claim that rainfall “increase[s] on the sea” is not a clear summary of the process shown. The response contains 140 words, below the required 150, and this limits the detail available. To improve, give a concise overview of how moist coastal air loses its moisture over the mountains, then describe the stages accurately and in order, including the inland rain-shadow desert.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to present the process in sequence, using words such as “first,” “next,” “Further,” and “Overall.” These signals show that you recognise the diagram has stages. However, the response has little clear paragraph structure, and the sequence is often obscured by repeated or inaccurate linking, as in “and next up the moist aitr roses and cools and now create the clouds form.” The final overview repeats earlier points rather than bringing them together clearly. Organise the response into an introduction, a brief overview, and a logically ordered description of the stages. Use a small number of accurate connectors, and make sure each sentence clearly links one stage to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “winds,” “coast,” “moist,” “clouds,” “rain,” “dry air,” and “inland.” This gives the reader a basic sense of the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning hard to understand, for example “information as a rain-shadow desert,” “rain are decreased,” and “rain desesrt.” There are also spelling errors such as “aitr” and “roses,” and phrases such as “on the earth inlands areas” are not natural descriptions of the diagram. Build a bank of accurate process terms and collocations, such as “moist air rises,” “precipitation falls,” and “dry air descends,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence and includes some simple clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and frequent errors make relationships between stages unclear. For example, “the formation of rain shadow deserts first the sea up of winds approach” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “the dry winds reach on the earth inlands areas” has problems with sentence construction and prepositions. Subject–verb agreement and verb forms are also unreliable, as in “the diagram depict” and “the moist aitr roses and cools.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention, since several ideas are joined into long, confusing strings. Practise writing one complete sentence for each stage, checking the subject, verb, and clause structure before adding linking words.

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