Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrate the one type of desert, a rain shadow desert, is formed. The rain of winds approach coast is moved to the winds pushed upwards and third is moist the air rises and cools moved to the clouds form is up to rain falls and move to the dry air continues over mountain moved to the dry winds reach inland areas and windward side and opposite is leeward side and center is mountains and one side is sea and coast and mountains is thousands of kilometers the formation of rain shadow deserts. Point five is realizing for more rains for any reason and point four is realize that many little cloud and point three is provide the little air and weather is very cools. Windward side is very high and dangerous for weather condition. And leeward side is little clam and low for heavy rains. And the ends the mountains is thousands of kilometers long.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.5
Coherence and Cohesion3.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.0
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the topic and include several labels from the diagram, such as the sea, coast, mountains, windward and leeward sides, and the inland desert. You also attempt to describe the sequence from rising air to rainfall and then dry winds. However, the process is not explained clearly or accurately enough: the opening sequence, “The rain of winds approach coast,” is difficult to interpret, and the key cause-and-effect relationship—moist air rising over the mountains, cooling, and producing rain on the windward side—is not clearly summarised. The comments about dangerous weather and the mountains being thousands of kilometres long are unsupported or misread; the scale refers to horizontal distance. Focus on the main stages and give a clear overview of how the leeward area becomes dry.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is an attempt to follow the diagram’s order, moving from winds approaching the coast to dry winds reaching inland areas, and you use sequence markers such as “third,” “Point five,” and “point four.” This gives the reader some indication of progression. However, most information is crowded into one long, loosely connected sentence, with repeated use of “moved to” and “and” rather than clear links between stages. The later comments about cloud, weather, and mountain length are added without a clear connection to the process. Organise the response into a short overview and a step-by-step description, using separate sentences and clear references such as “As a result” and “On the leeward side.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “windward side,” “leeward side,” “moist air,” “clouds,” and “rain falls,” showing awareness of the diagram’s terminology. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes makes the process difficult to understand. For example, “the rain of winds” does not express the movement of winds, while “little clam” appears to be an attempt to describe calmer or drier conditions. “Realizing” and “provide the little air” are also unsuitable choices in this context. Use precise process vocabulary and familiar collocations, such as “winds blow inland,” “air rises and cools,” and “precipitation falls.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts to describe a sequence and includes some simple clauses, but sentence structures are very limited and errors frequently obscure the relationships between ideas. The opening, “The diagram illustrate … is formed,” combines an incorrect verb form with an incomplete construction. Later, “the air rises and cools moved to the clouds form” does not show clearly how the stages connect, and agreement is inconsistent in phrases such as “mountains is.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also often missing, resulting in a run-on passage. Practise writing one complete sentence for each stage, using accurate present simple forms—for example, “Moist air rises over the mountains and cools, causing clouds to form.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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