Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrate the seven steps of the formation rain shadow deserts formed.

Overall,the structure of diagram is shown the information of rain shadow desert at inland.The initial step upword in the coast, sea and wind adopt the coast,secondly winds pushed upword on the moist air rises and cool then weather is clouds then rain in the land between travel with dry air continues over mountain and dry winds reach inland areas.

In conclusion, the every one step shows the rain process

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and refer to several stages, including winds approaching the coast, air rising and cooling, rain falling, and dry winds reaching inland. However, the process is only minimally summarised: the sequence is difficult to follow, and key relationships—especially that moist air rises over the windward side, loses moisture as rain, and then descends on the leeward side—are not clearly explained. The overview that the diagram shows the desert inland is relevant, but “every one step shows the rain process” does not capture the overall cause-and-effect pattern. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving too little space to select and report the main features adequately. Develop a clear overview and describe each stage in order.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by a description of the stages and a concluding statement. The references to “initial step” and “secondly” also show an effort to signal sequence. However, the main body combines many stages in one long, unclear sentence, so the reader cannot reliably distinguish where one event ends and the next begins. Linking words such as “then” and “and” are used mechanically, and the conclusion repeats the idea of a process without adding a clear summary. Use separate sentences or paragraphs for the overview and the sequence, and connect stages with precise transitions such as “as a result” and “after crossing the mountain.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “moist air,” “clouds,” “rain,” “dry air,” “mountain,” and “inland areas,” which helps identify the subject. The range is nevertheless limited, and several choices or forms make the description difficult to understand, such as “wind adopt the coast,” “then weather is clouds,” and “rain in the land between.” Spelling and word-form errors, including “upword,” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate, task-specific collocations: for example, winds “approach the coast,” air “rises and cools,” clouds “form,” and rain “falls on the windward side.” Reusing these precise terms is more effective than attempting unclear paraphrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence, but grammatical control is weak and sentence structures are very limited. The opening, “The diagram illustrate the seven steps,” has subject–verb disagreement and an incomplete construction around “formation.” In the main sentence, clauses are joined without clear grammatical boundaries, as in “secondly winds pushed upword on the moist air rises and cool,” making the relationships between actions unclear. Articles, verb forms, and sentence punctuation are also inconsistent. Practise writing short, complete sentences in the present simple, such as “The winds are forced upwards over the mountains” and “The air cools, causing clouds to form.” Then combine ideas only when the grammatical link is clear.

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