Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given process chart illustrates how one type of desert, known as a rain shadow desert, is formed.

Overall, there are 7 steps, all steps are essential, if one of the step is eliminated the whole whole process will be vanished. firstly, winds approach the coast then, winds pushed upwards after that, moist air rises and cools after that, clouds are formed, afterwards rain falls, subsequently, dry air continues over mountains, dry winds reach inland areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the process as the formation of a rain-shadow desert and report the seven stages in the correct general order, from winds approaching the coast to dry winds reaching inland areas. However, the response is very brief and does not adequately summarise the diagram’s main features: it omits the sea-to-inland setting, the windward and leeward sides, and the relationship between rising moist air, rainfall over the mountains, and dry conditions beyond them. The claim that every step is essential and that removing one would make the process disappear is not shown by the diagram. The response is also 87 words below the 150-word minimum. Develop an overview and explain the key cause-and-effect links using the visual details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The stages are presented in the correct sequence, and words such as “firstly,” “after that,” and “subsequently” help signal progression. This gives the reader a basic route through the process. However, nearly all the information is compressed into one paragraph and one long sequence, so the organisation is mechanical rather than clearly developed. Several transitions are repeated, and punctuation does not consistently separate the stages—for example, “then, winds pushed upwards after that” runs ideas together. Use a separate overview and a body paragraph, and connect stages in complete, clearly punctuated sentences. This would make the progression easier to follow and reduce the sense of a list.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant process vocabulary, including “moist air,” “clouds,” “rain falls,” and “dry winds,” and the key term “rain shadow desert” shows awareness of the topic. However, the range is limited, with repeated use of basic sequencing phrases such as “after that” and “then.” Some choices are also unnatural or imprecise: “process chart” is less suitable for a diagram showing stages, and “the whole process will be vanished” does not express the intended meaning naturally. Aim to use accurate terms for the diagram’s features and vary the language used to describe sequence and cause. More precise vocabulary would help explain how moisture is lost before air reaches inland areas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a longer sentence to connect the stages, but most of the writing relies on simple clauses joined together, so the range of sentence structures is limited. Errors occur in verb forms and agreement: “winds pushed upwards” needs a passive form to match the diagram, and “one of the step is eliminated” has a plural agreement problem. The phrase “the whole whole process” also contains an unnecessary repetition, while commas are used where full stops or conjunctions are needed. These issues make parts of the sequence awkward to read, although the general meaning remains understandable. Practise writing each stage in a complete sentence and check verb forms, singular/plural agreement, and punctuation.

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