Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given diagram illustrate the difference between how one type of desert, known and rain shadow desert, in the form of rain.Overall, how to work the formation of rain shadow on desert.

Firstly, this process start from clouds.Clouds make into the sea when clouds drink a water then air approach them and clouds pushed upwards.After that air has been cool and clouds make a goup with together and create a shape of large clouds.When it get a shape of clouds and move from mountains.Despite this they start a rain fall on the mountains then water move below the mountain and go on the inland areas.When it go on inlad areas then this water move into the land and has been create rain shadow on deasert.After that this water again move into the sea do complete the thousands of kilometers way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response makes an attempt to describe the process, but it only minimally reports the diagram’s main features. It mentions wind, mountains, rainfall and inland areas, yet several stages are misrepresented: the diagram shows moist air rising and cooling, clouds forming, rain falling on the windward side, and dry air continuing over the mountain to create a rain-shadow desert inland. Instead, the account says clouds “drink a water,” that water moves below the mountain, and that it later returns to the sea—details not shown. The overview, “how to work the formation,” does not clearly summarise the process. The response is also 10 words below the required minimum. To improve, give an accurate overview and describe the stages in their correct order, using the diagram’s labels.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to present events in sequence, using “Firstly,” “After that” and “then,” so the reader can recognise that a process is being described. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure or effective overview, and progression becomes difficult to follow when ideas are repeated or linked inaccurately. For example, “After that this water again move into the sea” does not connect logically to the preceding description of inland rainfall. Several sentences also run together, while the opening and overview are unclear. Organise the response into a brief introduction and overview followed by a step-by-step account. Use linking expressions only where they accurately show the relationship between stages.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant process words, including “clouds,” “mountains,” “rain” and “inland areas,” which gives it some basic topic vocabulary. However, the range is limited and repeated, and inaccurate word choices often make the meaning hard to understand. Phrases such as “clouds drink a water,” “make a goup with together” and “create a shape of large clouds” do not describe the diagram clearly. There are also spelling errors, including “inlad” and “deasert.” Aim to use precise labels from the visual, such as “moist air,” “windward side,” “leeward side” and “dry winds,” and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure the process. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “this process start” and “this water move”; verb forms are also faulty in “has been cool” and “has been create.” Articles and sentence construction cause further problems, as in “in the form of rain” and “Overall, how to work the formation of rain shadow on desert.” Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, and some clauses are joined without clear structure. Practise accurate simple present forms for process descriptions, such as “moist air rises and cools,” before adding longer clauses. Check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries when editing.

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