Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE DIAGRAM ILLUSTRATES THE STAGES OF FORMING THE RAIN AND CATAGORIEZ IT INTO DIFFERENT STAGES.
OVERALL,THE WIND STARING FLOWING FROM SEA COAST AND MOVE OVER THE MOUNTAINS AND REACH TO THE INLAND AREAS.
FIRST OF ALL THE AIR MOVES FRON SEA LEVEL TO MOUNTAINS AND FORMS CLOUD AND THEN FALLS ON THE TOP OF MOUNTAINS.MOREOVER,AFTER FALLING RAIN IT MOVES TOWARDS THE LEEWARD SLIDES AND AIR BECOME DRY.THEN THIS DRY AIR REACH THE INLAND AREAS AND ACROSS THE RAIN SHADOW DESERT.ALL THIS PROCES TAKE SEVEN STAGES TO COMPLEATE AND AIR TRAVEL THOUSAND OF KILOMETERS TO REACH THEIR DESTINATION.ON THE STARTING STAGE OF CLOUD FORMATION THE AIR IS VERY MOISTURE BUT AFTER THE CROSSING THE MOUNTAIN AIR BECOME DRY AND REACH THE DESERT AREA.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the diagram as a process and give a broad overview: wind moves from the sea across the mountains towards inland areas, where the rain-shadow desert forms. You also mention the key contrast between moist air before the mountain and dry air beyond it. However, several stages are compressed or inaccurately described: the air rises and cools, clouds form, and rain falls on the windward side, rather than simply “falls on the top of mountains.” The account does not clearly explain that the wind is forced upwards by the mountains, and the final location of the desert could be stated more precisely. The response is 28 words below the required minimum, which limits the detail available to cover the process fully. Add a clearer, step-by-step account of the main stages.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response follows the general direction of the process, moving from the sea to the mountains and then inland, and words such as “first of all,” “moreover,” and “then” help signal sequence. This gives the reader some overall organisation. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous block in capital letters, with no clear paragraphing, and the progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several stages are combined in a single sentence. For example, the description moves from cloud formation to rainfall and then to the leeward side without clearly separating these events. The repeated use of “and” and “then” also makes cohesion mechanical. Use a brief overview followed by a logically ordered process paragraph, with precise links between each stage.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “moist,” “dry,” “leeward,” “inland areas,” and “rain shadow desert,” which helps communicate the topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning unclear. “Catagorie[z] it into different stages” does not describe what the diagram shows, while “air moves from sea level to mountains” is less precise than describing moist winds being forced upwards. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “staring,” “fron,” “slides,” and “compleate.” Aim for accurate terms such as “windward side,” “rises,” “cools,” and “precipitation,” and check spelling carefully. More precise process vocabulary would make the account clearer and more suitable for an academic report.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “after falling rain it moves towards the leeward slides and air become dry,” and you use present-tense forms appropriate for describing a process. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “the wind … move,” “air become dry,” and “this dry air reach,” where subject–verb agreement is missing. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “forms cloud” and the largely unpunctuated opening sequence. The final sentence, beginning “On the starting stage,” is difficult to interpret because its grammatical relationships are unclear. Practise accurate simple present clauses first, then combine them with controlled sequencing and cause-and-effect structures.
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