Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given diagram illustrate the formation of rain-shadow deserts

The process starts froms sea winds approach pushes upword through mountains and passes 7 different type of process which cause in the existance of rain-shadow desert.

The very first step is that Winds is produced by the sea and it puches upword where wind moist air reises and cools and converted in cloud form.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the topic and begin to describe the process, mentioning winds from the sea, upward movement, cooling, and cloud formation. However, the account stops before explaining the key later stages: rain falling on the windward side, dry air crossing the mountain, and dry winds reaching the inland rain-shadow desert. There is also no clear overview of the process as a whole, and the claim that there are “7 different type of process” is not developed into a complete sequence. The response is substantially below the required 150 words, which leaves the task only minimally addressed. To improve, summarise the overall cause-and-effect pattern, then report each main stage in order using the diagram’s labels and locations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the diagram, then starts describing what happens first. Phrases such as “The process starts” and “The very first step” help signal order. However, the progression is not sustained because the description ends after cloud formation, and the second paragraph repeats the opening idea rather than advancing through the stages. Connections between events are also unclear in the sentence beginning “The process starts froms sea winds approach pushes upword…”. Organise the report into a brief overview followed by a complete, ordered account, using clear links such as “as a result,” “after this,” and “finally.” This would create a more coherent progression while keeping the sequence easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use several relevant terms from the topic, including “rain-shadow deserts,” “sea,” “mountains,” “moist air,” and “cools,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the vocabulary range is limited, and repeated or inaccurate forms make parts difficult to understand: “puches,” “upword,” “reises,” and “existance” contain spelling errors, while “converted in cloud form” is an awkward expression. Use precise process vocabulary from the diagram, such as “rises,” “condenses,” “precipitation,” “leeward side,” and “inland.” Check spelling carefully and choose natural collocations—for example, “clouds form” rather than “converted in cloud form”—to make the description clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both a simple opening sentence and longer sentences describing stages, but control is inconsistent. For example, “The given diagram illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Winds is produced” also has incorrect agreement. The sentence “The process starts froms sea winds approach pushes upword…” lacks a clear grammatical structure, making the relationships between the wind, mountains, and stages hard to follow. Articles and verb forms also need attention, as in “converted in cloud form.” Build accurate simple sentences first, such as “Winds approach the coast” and “The air rises and cools,” then connect them with clauses using “when” or “as.” This will allow you to describe the sequence without losing grammatical clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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