Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates that from 2011 to 2018 there are shops that are closed and some new shops are opened inone country.

Overall,there is drastically changes in this country so, there is a highest number of shops are opened in 2011 and closeure in 2018.

On the first hand, on 2011 there is highest amount of shops are opened and again they decrease ,slightly rose and then again decrease and became maximum.

On finally,on 2018 some shops are closed it is started from 2011 there is a more than 8000 shopes are closed and decreases and some shops are again rise up however,it is slightly increase the closed shop and became maximumand end in 2018 where the shop atarted closing . the shops ate started from 0 to 9000 so, there are a numerous number of shops available on these country. from starting to end a lot of shops are opened and closed

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the two measures and the period, and you attempt an overall statement. However, the overview misreports the main pattern: openings peak in 2011, but closures do not peak in 2018; they are highest in 2013, while the sharpest feature is the fall in closures to about 600 in 2015. The body does not give reliable year-by-year comparisons, and several claims are unclear or inaccurate, such as saying closures began above 8,000 and later became a maximum. The response therefore addresses the graph only minimally. To improve, select the major highs, lows and changes, then support them with accurate approximate figures and clear comparisons between the two lines.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to divide the response into an introduction, an overview and body paragraphs, and phrases such as “Overall” and “On finally” signal intended stages. However, the ideas are not arranged coherently: the first body paragraph gives a vague sequence without identifying which series it describes, while the final paragraph shifts between closures, openings and the graph’s scale. Connections such as “and again,” “however” and “so” do not clarify the relationships between the data, and some sentences run together. Organise the report by series or by key trends, use clear topic sentences, and connect each comparison directly to the relevant year and figure.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary includes relevant basic terms such as “line graph,” “shops,” “opened,” “closed,” “decrease” and “increase,” so the general subject can be recognised. However, the range is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or awkward, including “there is drastically changes,” “closeure,” “shopes” and “a numerous number.” These errors sometimes make the intended trend difficult to understand. Use precise chart language consistently, for example “the number of shop closures,” “rose,” “fell sharply” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling and word forms, and avoid vague phrases such as “some shops” when the graph provides numerical data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, but control is limited and errors frequently obscure the relationships between ideas. Examples include “there are shops that are closed,” “there is a highest number,” and “there is a more than 8000 shopes are closed,” where verb forms, agreement and sentence construction are faulty. Tense and article use are also inconsistent, as in “on 2011” and “the shops ate started.” Punctuation and spacing problems, particularly in the final long sentence, further reduce clarity. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, such as “Closures fell to about 600 in 2015,” then combine ideas using controlled clauses and consistent past-tense reporting.

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