Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given graph illustrates the total number of shops opened and closed in one country from 2011 to 2018

By visualising the given information it is clearly seen that in starting both the opened and closed shops were more and in the end it decreased. At the outset, in year 2011 the closed shops were slightly less than new opened shops where new shops was about 8500 and closed was 6500. Movingfurther, in next years they both showed decrease and in year 2014 they were very close to each other between 6100 to 6300. Furthermore, they showed a fall in next year and the cloesd shops were reached to

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and give some relevant figures, including the higher number of openings in 2011 and the closeness of the two series in 2014. However, the response is incomplete: it stops mid-sentence at “the closed shops were reached to” and does not report the later years or provide a complete overview of the main trends. The claim that both series decreased in the following years is also inaccurate, since closures rose in 2013 and openings rose in 2013 and 2017. The required minimum of 150 words is not met; at 109 words, there is too little coverage to summarise the graph adequately. To improve, complete the account and select the major changes, especially the sharp fall in closures in 2015 and the overall decline in openings.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic chronological sequence, signalled by phrases such as “At the outset,” “Moving further,” and “Furthermore,” so the reader can follow the years being discussed. However, the response has no clear paragraph structure and ends abruptly, leaving the final point unfinished. Some linking is mechanical, and the repeated use of “in next years” does not clearly distinguish the different movements in the two series. Organise the report into a short overview followed by one or two paragraphs comparing the data, and use links that show contrast or change, such as “whereas,” “by contrast,” and “after this.” This would create a clearer progression rather than simply listing events in time order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “illustrates,” “decreased,” “fall,” and “close to each other,” which helps communicate the general subject and movement. However, several expressions are awkward or imprecise, such as “in starting,” “new opened shops,” and “they both showed decrease.” There are also spelling errors in “Movingfurther” and “cloesd,” and “visualising the given information” is unnecessarily wordy. Aim for accurate chart language and natural collocations, for example “at the beginning,” “newly opened shops,” and “both figures declined.” A broader set of precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell sharply,” and “remained stable” would help you describe the contrasting trends more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including a time clause in “where new shops was about 8500 and closed was 6500.” However, control is uneven: “new shops was” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “in next years” is missing a determiner. The sentence beginning “By visualising the given information” is also awkwardly constructed, while the final sentence is incomplete and therefore leaves its grammatical relationship unfinished. Most sentences rely on similar basic patterns, with limited accurate use of complex structures. Practise forming complete comparisons, for example, “In 2011, about 8,500 shops opened, compared with 6,400 closures,” and check agreement, articles, and sentence completion before finishing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.