Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, that opening shops was top at the start time, but at the end of the time, it decline, and it is clear that over the eight-period both fluctuated lots.

The number of shops open in 2011 was around 8500, which was the largest number shops in this figure, whereas the number of closed shops was approximately 6300. Following year, opening shops fall steeply in close proximity to 3900, while closure shops was decrease to under 6000..

From 2012 to 2014, the opening shops significantly increased at around 6100. On the other hand, the closure shops increased in 2013, but next year it again decreased to nearly 6500. In 2015, the closure shops collapsed to approximately 500, which was the lowest number of shops; however, next year it increased to round 5000, and in the following years it was nothing big changes. Furthermore, the opening of shops also decreased in 2015 (to exact 4000) and remained unchanged until 2016. Moreover, in 2017, it slightly increased, but next year that declined to accurate 3000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the subject and cover both shop openings and closures across the period, including the opening peak in 2011 and the sharp fall in closures in 2015. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately summarise the main patterns: openings did not simply decline throughout, as they rose from about 3,900 in 2012 to 6,200 in 2014 before falling. The statement that both series “fluctuated lots” is too general to serve as a clear overview. There is also a major data error: closures fell to about 600 in 2015, not 500, and the claim that openings remained unchanged until 2016 overlooks their fall from 5,000 in 2013 to 4,000 in 2015. Select the key peaks, troughs and overall directions more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the figures. Time markers such as “Following year,” “From 2012 to 2014” and “In 2015” help the reader follow the chronology. However, the overview is vague, and the body paragraphs do not establish a consistently clear progression between the two series. Some linking phrases are awkward or do not express the relationship precisely, such as “On the other hand” before describing the closure trend in 2013. “Furthermore” and “Moreover” are also used mechanically to add details rather than clarify comparisons. Group the main trends by period or compare openings and closures directly, using references such as “this figure” only when the series is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of trend vocabulary, including “fall steeply,” “increased,” “collapsed” and “remained unchanged,” so the reader can generally understand the changes being described. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “opening shops was top,” “closure shops,” “fluctuated lots” and “nothing big changes.” “Accurate 3000” is also not an appropriate way to report an approximate figure. These noticeable errors make parts of the account less clear and precise. Use standard chart language consistently, for example, “the number of shops opening,” “the number of closures,” “fluctuated considerably” and “stood at approximately 3,000.” Take care to distinguish a number of shops from the shops themselves.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including comparisons with “whereas” and clauses introduced by “while” and “but.” However, errors in sentence structure and verb forms are frequent enough to make several sentences awkward or difficult to interpret. For example, “Overall, that opening shops was top” lacks a clear grammatical subject, and “it decline” should use a past-tense verb. In “closure shops was decrease,” the verb construction is incorrect; “the number of closures decreased” would be clearer. There are also problems with articles, plurals and punctuation, including “the largest number shops” and the doubled full stop after “6000.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build sentences around “the number of shops opening/closing”.

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