Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given line graph illustrates the number of shop closures and openings in year 2011 and in 2018.
Looking first at the details, it can be seen that there are manys shops closures and opening and in both year there lines are marked with black spots. Another noticeable point is that first line in year 2011 is at the top of the graph but while reaching at year 2018 it decreses.
Turning to the other information, in year 2018 shop closures reaches at 3000 but it was started from more than 8000. Furthermore, openings started with less than 7000 and more than 6000 but at the end it shifted and moved toward down in the graph and reachec at 5000.
To sum up, the most noticeable feature is that openings new shop are at the the highest number than closures. while closures also have largest share.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response makes a limited attempt to describe the graph, but it does not accurately or sufficiently summarise the main features. It focuses only on 2011 and 2018, omitting the important fluctuations in the intervening years, including the sharp fall in closures in 2015 and the peak in 2013. Several figures and series are also confused: closures began at about 6,400, not above 8,000, while openings began at about 8,500, not below 7,000; in 2018 closures were around 5,200 and openings around 3,000. The final claim that openings were highest is not supported across the period. The response is also four words below the required minimum. Include a clear overview and accurate comparisons across the full timeline.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation: the response has an introduction, two detail paragraphs signalled by “Looking first” and “Turning to,” and a concluding sentence. These markers help the reader recognise a broad structure. However, there is no clear progression through the years, and the discussion jumps between series and endpoints without establishing a consistent comparison. The conclusion repeats an unclear claim rather than summarising the main trends. Linking words such as “Furthermore” and “To sum up” are present, but they do not reliably connect accurate, developed points. Organise the body chronologically or discuss each series in turn, and use clear references to distinguish closures from openings.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses a small range of task-related vocabulary, including “line graph,” “shop closures,” “openings,” and “reaches,” so the general topic is identifiable. It also attempts some trend language, such as “decreases” and “moved toward down.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, including “manys shops,” “reachec,” “first line,” and “largest share.” These errors sometimes make the intended comparison difficult to follow. Build a more precise set of expressions for describing data, such as “rose to,” “fell sharply,” “remained stable,” and “stood at,” and use the correct forms of “shop openings” and “shop closures.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and more extended sentences, using clauses introduced by “while” and “but,” as well as sequencing phrases. However, the range remains limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships unclear. Examples include “in year 2018 shop closures reaches,” where the article and verb agreement are faulty, and “openings started with less than 7000 and more than 6000,” which has an unclear grammatical relationship between the quantities. The sentence beginning “Another noticeable point” also has an awkward contrast structure. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Shorter, controlled comparisons would improve clarity before adding more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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