Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 7.0)

The line graph shows the trend of shop closures and newer openings in a country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, both the number of shops being opened and closed displayed fluctuations across years. However, there was an ultimate decline in the final year for both as compared to the figures at the beginning of the trend.

In 2011, more number of shops were being newly opened as opposed to the ones being closed, where around 8500 shops were new and 6500 were shut down completely. There was a decreasing trend prevalent in the next year before the figures increased in 2013, with over 7000 and 5000, shops being closed and newly opened respectively. It was 2013, when number of shut downs were than the commencement of businesses.

The trend for the closures plummeted to an all time low in 2015, with less than 1000 shops planning to stop their service. In the same year, there was a fall in the figures for newer registration with only around 4000 new openings. However, in the latter years, the trend for discontinuing shops picked up a pace and stayed slightly over 5000 on 2018, whereas the openings continued to slow down with only around 3000 new addition in 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all requirements of the task. You have identified the main trends and provided relevant data points to support your description. The overview is clear and highlights the general fluctuations and the final decline. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you mention 2013 as the year when closures exceeded openings, but the graph shows this occurred in 2012 as well. Additionally, the description of the 2015 data is slightly confusing. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited with absolute precision and that comparisons between the two categories are more consistently integrated throughout the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. The progression of ideas is clear, moving from the start of the period to the end. You use cohesive devices such as 'However', 'In the same year', and 'In the latter years' to link your points. While the structure is sound, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing of years and figures could be smoother to improve the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct time periods, which helps the reader follow the narrative of the graph.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'commencement', 'plummeted', and 'discontinuing'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'more number of shops' (should be 'a greater number of shops') and 'newer registration' (which is slightly awkward in this context). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these occasional inaccuracies prevent a higher score. Focusing on more precise collocations related to data trends will help improve your lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'It was 2013, when number of shut downs were than the commencement' (missing 'greater' and article usage) and 'new addition' (should be plural 'additions'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining accuracy would also help elevate your score in this criterion.

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