Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph illustrates the number of stores that closed and the digit of new shops that opened in one nation from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it can be seen that the number of shop closures experienced fluctuations in middle years. While the digit of stall openings showed a continuous decline.
To begin with, in 2011 around six thousand shops were closed, however openings digits are high compared to closures accounted for above 8000. Moreover 4000 stalls were opened in 2012 that showed dramatically dropped in openings. but it rose significantly in 2014 accounted for 6000. after that it remained same for three years. i 2018 it fell slightly 4000 to 3000.
Furthermore, the closures of shops in 2013 climbed slightly at 7000. but it plunged in 2015 because at that time there were no shops closed. However, in 2016 it surged significantly accounted at 5000. Between 2016 and 2018 it stayed constant.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for both closures and openings. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the description of the 2015 data as having 'no shops closed' is a misinterpretation of the graph, which shows a specific figure. Additionally, while the overview identifies the main trends, it lacks a clear comparison between the two categories throughout the period. The data points are generally accurate, but the lack of precision in describing the fluctuations limits the score. To improve, ensure you carefully read the data points and provide a more balanced summary that highlights the relationship between the two sets of data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the information. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'To begin with' is used inappropriately for a data description task, and the use of 'but' and 'however' is frequent and sometimes repetitive. The progression of ideas is occasionally disjointed, particularly in the third paragraph where the sequence of years is confusing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus would significantly enhance the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. The student repeatedly uses the word 'digit' incorrectly to refer to the number of shops, which is a significant lexical error. Other phrases like 'accounted for' are used in ways that do not fit the context. While the student attempts to use descriptive verbs like 'plunged' and 'surged', the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'figures', 'quantities', or 'levels', and ensure that collocations are used correctly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include incorrect verb tenses, missing articles, and punctuation errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters after a period. For example, 'i 2018 it fell' and 'accounted at 5000' demonstrate a lack of control over basic sentence construction. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation would be beneficial.
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