Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph demonstrates the idea od comparison in the changing practice of closing shops and the number of new businesses established in particular nation in between 2011 to 2018.
Overall, it is noticeable that in both exercises opening and closing were following downward trend in given time length.
Firstly, the line graph illustrates the information of around 4500 shops were closing down in 2011, whereas, more than 8000 shops newly builded.In next year 2012, there slightly changed in closure shop, which went down almost 6000, however, it was drastically reducing the number of new shop and reached at the 4000.Furthermore, until next 2 years 2013 and 2014 shutting down shops faced escalating and decreasing trend, while, the number of new shops were increasing gradually.
Moreover, though there were less favourable among closing method as it was touching nearly 500 in 2015, the proportion of new shops continuously falling down until 2018 and kissed 3000.Again, there was peak in shop closing experience in 2016 then it steady till 2018 around 5000.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the general downward trends for both shop closures and openings. However, the analysis is hampered by inaccuracies in interpreting the data. For instance, stating that 8000 shops were 'newly builded' in 2011 is incorrect based on the provided graph, and the description of trends in 2013-2014 is vague and confusing. The overview is present but lacks clarity. To improve, ensure that data points are read precisely and that the summary highlights the most significant trends (e.g., the crossover point or the overall decline) rather than listing individual year-by-year fluctuations, which leads to a lack of focus.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical use of cohesive devices. Transitions such as 'In next year 2012' and 'Again, there was peak' feel forced and do not always connect ideas smoothly. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparison between the two categories. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and occasionally imprecise. There are several non-standard collocations and word choices, such as 'newly builded' (should be 'newly opened'), 'less favourable among closing method', and 'kissed 3000'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of the message. While the student attempts to use descriptive language, the lack of precision in word choice prevents a higher score. To improve, focus on learning specific collocations related to data description, such as 'a downward trend', 'a significant decline', or 'fluctuated between'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include missing articles ('in particular nation'), incorrect verb forms ('newly builded'), and awkward sentence construction ('there slightly changed in closure shop'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors is high enough to distract the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage for describing past data would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
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