Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph provides the number of traditional shops that were closed and the new shops opened in a country between 2011 and 2018.

Overall, it can be seen that, as the time passed, the proportion of both the cases had declined. The least number of shops were opened in 2016, while these numbers were at the peak in 2013 and created the V-shaped pattern between 2014 and 2016. On the other hand, a large number of shops were closed in 2011, and these numbers fell to low in 2018.

In 2011, 6,500 new shops were opened, which was less compared to the number of shops that were closed, 8,500, but next year this trend reversed, almost 6,000 newly opened shops were greater than 4,000 shops, which were closed. This trend continued for another year in 2013, both new and closed ones had increased gradually, concluding at 7,100 and 5,000 each. In 2014, the less amount of new shops were opened, almost 6,500, and 6,200 were closed.

However, a sudden fall came in the amount of newly opened shops, at 500 in 2015. In the same year, almost 4,000 shops were closed. While the proportion of closed shops remained constant in 2016, but new shops were increased suddenly to 5,100. In 2017, there was a slight decrease, concluding at 5,000, whereas closed shops had increased to 4,100. Nevertheless, in 2018, new shops concluded at 5,100, while closed shops decreased to 3,000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers all requirements of the task. You have identified the main trends and provided data to support your points. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For example, you state that in 2015, new shop openings were at 500, whereas the graph indicates a figure closer to 3,000. Additionally, the description of the 'V-shaped pattern' is slightly confusing as it does not accurately reflect the data points provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that your data extraction is precise and that your overview highlights the most significant trends, such as the overall decline in both categories, rather than focusing on minor fluctuations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand,' 'However,' and 'Nevertheless' to link ideas. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'as the time passed' and 'concluding at.' The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences in the third paragraph is occasionally disjointed. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring they are used naturally will help improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion,' 'trend,' and 'fluctuated' (implied). There are some instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'the less amount of new shops' (should be 'a smaller number') and 'these numbers were at the peak' (should be 'these figures peaked'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you should aim to use more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing to achieve a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the proportion of both the cases had declined' (unnecessary 'the'), 'new shops were increased' (passive voice error), and 'the less amount of new shops were opened' (subject-verb agreement). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive versus active voice when describing data.

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