Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the total number of shops that were shut-down and new shops which were opened in a country between 2011 and 2018. The graph shows a fluctuating nature, with the number of shops that were closed shows a significant drop reaching to the lowest value accompanied by sudden surge in the number while the number of shop closures remained nearly stable as compared to the former one.
The number of shop openings in the year 2011 was around 6500 while the number of shop closures stood to 8500. The latter dramatically dropped down to approximately 4000 in the next year while the former showed a modest drop followed by a substantial rise reaching to 7000 in the year 2012.
A sudden dip in the number of shop closures was seen in the year 2015 which stood to less than 1000 but dramatically increased .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While you have identified some main features, the analysis is incomplete. You describe the trends for 2011 and 2012 but fail to cover the remainder of the period up to 2018, leaving the summary unfinished. To improve, ensure you provide a comprehensive overview of the entire timeframe, including the final trends. The lack of a concluding summary or a complete overview of the data means the task is only partially addressed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into three short paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the report. While you use some cohesive devices like 'while' and 'the latter', the connection between sentences is sometimes mechanical. The paragraphing is insufficient; the final paragraph is particularly underdeveloped and ends abruptly. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and that you use a wider variety of linking words to guide the reader through the data trends more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuating', 'substantial rise', and 'dramatically'. However, there are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'shut-down' (should be 'closed' or 'closures') and 'the former one' (which is slightly redundant). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. Focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring that your word choices are contextually accurate to describe statistical trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the number of shops that were closed shows a significant drop' contains a subject-verb agreement error, and 'stood to' is an incorrect prepositional collocation (it should be 'stood at'). Additionally, there are punctuation issues and awkward phrasing, such as 'accompanied by sudden surge'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions when describing data points.
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