Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
the graph illustrates the number of shops that were closed and the number of new shops that were opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. In 2011, the number for shops opened was 8500 whereas, the number of shops closed was 6500, which is clearly lower in comparison to the number of shops opened. In 2012, the number of shops opened drastically reduced to 4500 and in proceeding years it rose again to about 6000 numbers. But after that, it only kept decreasing except for a slight increment in the year 2017.
The number of shops that closed have seen dramatic changes since 2011. The lowest number of shops that were closed was in the year 2015 which was about 500 and and the highest number was in the year 2013 which was about 7000. The difference is quite huge between the highest and lowest numbers of shops that were closed.
In the year 2014, the number of shops closed and opened were almost the same with very little difference and it was approximately 6100.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, identifying the trends for both shop openings and closures. However, the analysis is somewhat fragmented. While you mention the start and end points, the description of the trends lacks a clear overview or a cohesive summary of the relationship between the two categories. Some data points are described in isolation rather than being compared effectively. To improve, ensure you provide a clear 'overview' paragraph that highlights the most significant trends, such as the overall decline in openings versus the volatility in closures, rather than just listing year-by-year changes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. The logical progression is occasionally hindered by the way data is presented; instead of grouping information by trends, the report jumps between years and categories. Using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'conversely', 'in contrast', 'subsequently') would improve the flow and help connect the ideas more naturally throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the basic information. You use some appropriate terms like 'drastically reduced' and 'slight increment'. However, there is a lack of variety in your reporting verbs and nouns. Phrases like 'the number for shops' and 'the number of shops' are repeated frequently, which makes the writing feel a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and varied collocations to describe data trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'a downward trajectory'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'the number for shops opened was 8500' (should be 'the number of shops opened') and 'the number of shops that closed have seen' (should be 'has seen' to agree with the singular subject 'number'). Additionally, there is a minor punctuation error with the double 'and' in the second paragraph. The sentence structures are functional, but increasing the variety of complex sentences would enhance the overall quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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