Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This continuous graph shows the comparison between how many shops were closed and also the numbers of new shops which were opened

In 2011 we see that there was a huge reduction in the shutting down of shops and there was also a very slightly addition of new shops to be opened and after this and traveling towards the upcoming years we see that there was a slightly increasing and than there was a huge decreasing numbers in the opening of the new shops which showed that people interest in the business was gone and than after this we have a look on the graph of the closing of old shops after a huge downgrade there was a slightly upgrade in the closing of ancient shops and after reviewing the whole graph there was no consistency in it which means that in every year there was a increasing or decreasing in the closing of old shops and opening of new shops

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to provide a clear overview or identify key trends effectively. It lacks a structured approach, such as grouping data by category or time period. The description of the data is vague, using subjective language like 'huge reduction' or 'ancient shops' rather than referencing the specific years or numerical values provided in the graph. The analysis is superficial and does not make meaningful comparisons between the two categories (closures and openings). To improve, you must present specific data points and focus on the overall trends rather than describing the graph in a narrative, non-analytical way.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as a single, long paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of logical progression; the ideas are presented in a stream-of-consciousness style rather than being organized into clear, distinct points. Cohesive devices are almost entirely absent, and the few that are used (e.g., 'and after this') are repetitive and mechanical. The lack of paragraphing and the absence of clear signposting between the two sets of data significantly hinder the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. Phrases like 'ancient shops' are inappropriate for the context of business closures, and 'huge downgrade' is not standard terminology for describing statistical trends. There is significant repetition of basic words such as 'shops', 'closing', and 'opening'. The student struggles to use precise language to describe trends, relying on vague descriptors rather than academic vocabulary like 'fluctuate', 'decline', 'peak', or 'plateau'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede clarity. There is a lack of punctuation, resulting in long, run-on sentences that are difficult to parse. Errors in verb tense and word form are common, such as 'there was a slightly increasing' instead of 'a slight increase'. The sentence structures are repetitive and lack the complexity required for higher bands. Basic errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage are pervasive throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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