Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line chart illustrates comparison between closed and opened new shops in unknown country from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, it is evident that the number of shops that closed were numerous in 2013, while the opened ones were in 2011. The figure of closed and opened shops fluctuated for 7 years.

The peak point of opened shops were high in 2011 about 8500, whereas the next year they plummeted by 4500, with the sustainable increase in 2 years consisting of 5000 and around 6000, respectively. Before the trough about 3000 in 2018, there was marginal rise for 3 years.

As far as the closed shops are concerned, the peak number was in 2013 after they declined around 400 from previous year. Furthermore, before the major decrease, there was marginal dip in 2014, with dramatic increase in year. In 2016, the closed shops were about 5100 and fluctuation was appeared within 2 years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the peaks and troughs for both categories. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. For instance, the description of the closed shops is confusing, particularly the phrase 'after they declined around 400 from previous year' and the vague reference to a 'dramatic increase in year'. The overview is present but lacks clarity in identifying the most significant trends. While the key data points are mentioned, the lack of precision in describing the trends makes it difficult for the reader to follow the data accurately. More careful selection of data points and clearer comparisons between the two lines would improve the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the progression of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused, such as 'with the sustainable increase in 2 years' or 'fluctuation was appeared'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track which year or trend is being discussed. While the overall structure is logical, the internal flow within paragraphs needs to be smoother and more precise to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward word choice, such as 'unknown country' (which is unnecessary), 'figure of closed and opened shops', and 'marginal rise'. The student attempts to use some descriptive verbs like 'plummeted', but the overall range is limited. Some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'the peak point of opened shops were high', which indicates a need for more idiomatic control over collocations and reporting language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the peak point... were high'), incorrect passive voice usage ('fluctuation was appeared'), and missing articles ('in unknown country'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher level of accuracy. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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