Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given line graph illustrates new shops that were opened and number of shops that were closed in a country from year 2011 to 2018.
Overall, the most amount of shops were opened in 2011 while most shops closed were in 2013. Least shops were opened in the year of 2018 and minimum shops were closed in 2015.
In 2011, maximum shops between 8000 to 9000 were opened in the given time range and the following year the number plummeted to merely 4000 shops. By 2014, the openings of the new shops increased gradually to little above 6000 shops before dipping to 4000 shops opened in 2015. The number of shops opened remained the same for next year and experienced a slight increase in 2017 and went down to 3000 shops in 2018.
As for closing, nearly 6400 shops were closed in 2011 which fell down by 400 in 2012. In 2013, just above 7000 shops were closed and around 6500 shops were closed in 2014. After the number of shop closed sky rocketed to above 5000 in 2016 the closed shops plunged under 1000 in 2015. Then it fluctuated slightly in the upcoming years 2017 and 2018 respectively.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and selects relevant data points to support the description. You have successfully identified the peaks and troughs for both categories. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting. For instance, you state that shop closures 'skyrocketed' in 2016, but the graph shows a decline in that year. Additionally, the description of the 2015 data for closures is confusing, as you mention it 'plunged under 1000' after discussing 2016. Careful attention to the chronological order and accurate reading of the axes is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on openings and closures respectively. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices like 'In 2011', 'By 2014', and 'As for closing' to guide the reader. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the chronological sequence of the data points is muddled. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a consistent flow would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'plummeted', 'fluctuated', and 'plunged' to describe trends. There are some instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'most amount of shops' (should be 'greatest number') and 'least shops were opened'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring that your word choices are grammatically appropriate for the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the most amount of shops' and 'the number of shop closed', which indicate a lack of control over articles and pluralization. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'maximum shops between 8000 to 9000 were opened'. While these errors rarely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles will help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.