Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, the number of both shops closures and openings fluctuated, where the new shops dramatically decreased in 2015.

Firstly, the number of closed shop largest fell in 2012 which was the biggest loss from 2011 to 2018, than it slightly fluctuate till 2018. In 2018, the number of shops got declined and became 3000.

Secondly, the number of shops opened was in nice level in 2011, but after that it slightly fluctuate till 2014. In 2015, there was a dramatically change in number where it decreased in a large number and became around 5000, again the opened shops was increased in huge number and became 5100. Moreover, it slightly increased and decreased from 2016 to 2018.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main trends, the analysis is somewhat superficial. You have attempted to highlight key features, such as the fluctuations and the 2015 decrease, but the lack of sufficient detail and the failure to reach the required length prevent a higher score. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview and include more specific data points to support your descriptions. The summary is present, but the development of ideas is limited by the brevity of the text.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You have used basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to signal the progression of ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'there was a dramatically change in number where it decreased in a large number'. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that pronouns or references clearly point back to the subject will enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'number of shops' and 'slightly fluctuate'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'nice level' and 'dramatically change', which are not appropriate for an academic report. To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' (e.g., 'plummeted', 'surged', 'stabilized') and focus on using more precise academic terminology to describe the trends shown in the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the number of closed shop largest fell' (should be 'the number of shop closures fell most significantly') and 'the opened shops was increased' (should be 'the number of opened shops increased'). Subject-verb agreement and word order issues are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like tense consistency and pluralization.

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