Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-10
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The graph bar below illustrate the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Overall,the number of shops closures fluctuated considerably,reaching a low point in 2015.In contrast,shop openings generally decreased over the period,although there were some fluctuations.
Regarding shop closures,the figure was about 6,500 in 2011.It then decreased slightly to 6,000 in 2012,before rising to approxmiately 7300 in 2013.In 2014,the number fell slightly to around 6,700.After,that a dramactic decline to only 1,000 in 2015.However closures increased sharply and reached at 5,200 in 2016 and remained fairly stable in 2017 and 2018 at around 5,400 and 5,600 respectively.
As for shop openings,the number was highest approxmiately 8,500 in 2011.It then fell down at around 4,000 in 2012,then it goes up at 5000 in 2013.In 2014 this figure increased and reached at 6,100.In 2015 it decreased again about 4,200.The number then rose slightly to approxmiately 4,600 in 2017,before falling to around 3,000 in 2018.This was the lowest figure in the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You have successfully identified the key features, such as the fluctuation in closures and the general downward trend in openings. The data is used to support the description, and comparisons are made between the two categories. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are accurate; for instance, you mentioned 2017 and 2018 for closures, but the graph shows specific data for each year. Overall, the information is well-selected and the main features are highlighted effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized, with a clear introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs focusing on closures and openings respectively. Cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Regarding', and 'As for' are used to guide the reader. However, there are some minor issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas (e.g., 'Overall,the', '2011.It'). Improving the consistency of spacing and ensuring that transitions between sentences are smoother would enhance the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to the overall clarity of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the trends, including terms like 'fluctuated', 'dramatic decline', and 'remained fairly stable'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'approxmiately' and 'dramactic', and some minor collocation issues, such as 'fell down at' instead of 'fell to'. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and more precise collocations for describing data trends will help improve your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'The graph bar below illustrate' (subject-verb agreement), 'reached at 5,200' (incorrect preposition), and 'it goes up at' (tense inconsistency). While these errors are noticeable, they do not prevent the reader from understanding the information. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, consistent tense usage when describing past data, and correct prepositional usage with verbs of movement (e.g., 'increased to' rather than 'reached at').
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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