Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one nation during the period from 2011 to 2018.

Overall, the number of newly opening shops had the highest at the beginning of the period, while the number of close shops were lowest. However, this trend showed the opposite result by the end of the period.

To begin with, around 8,900 shops were new opened in 2011, followed by approximately 6,500 shops were closed. The figure for newly opening shops dropped sharply in 2012 before experiencing a significant rise and reach a peak of around 6,000 in 2014. However, the number for closing shops were oscillated, reaching nearly 6,100 shops in 2014.

Furthermore, the figure for newly opened shops fell substantially around 500 shops, finishing approximately 3,000 shops by the end of the year, whereas the figure for closing shops hit a low of around 500 shops before experiencing a dramatic rise and overtook the line of newly opened shops, finishing around 5,100 shops by the end of the year.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for both shop closures and openings. You successfully identified the starting points, the peak in 2014, and the final figures. However, the overview is slightly inaccurate; you stated that the number of new shops was highest at the beginning, but the graph shows the peak for new shops actually occurred in 2014. Additionally, the description of the final year is confusing, as you refer to 'the end of the year' repeatedly without specifying that the data covers a multi-year period. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends accurately and avoid confusing terminology regarding the timeline.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. While the progression is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the phrase 'finishing approximately 3,000 shops by the end of the year' is ambiguous because it is unclear which year you are referring to. Improving the precision of your referencing and ensuring that your paragraph breaks clearly separate distinct trends would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'depicts', 'oscillated', and 'dramatic rise'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'newly opening shops had the highest' (should be 'was at its highest') and 'close shops' (should be 'closed shops'). The phrase 'new opened' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'newly opened'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, you need to focus on more accurate collocations and word forms to reach a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'the number of close shops were lowest' (subject-verb agreement error), 'newly opening shops dropped... and reach a peak' (tense inconsistency), and 'the number for closing shops were oscillated' (incorrect passive construction). Additionally, the sentence 'the figure for newly opened shops fell substantially around 500 shops' is confusingly phrased. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and maintaining consistent verb tenses when describing past data. Proofreading for these basic errors will significantly improve your score.

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