Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph illustrates the numbers of old shops that0 were shut down and numbers of new shops opened in a single country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall, there are many new outlets are opened in 2011. While, significant decrease in seven years. After continues down in closed outlets grew rapidly at the end of year. New shops show significant decreased after 2014 year. Both new shops and closed outlets faced significant decrease at the end of 2018.
On the one hand, highest number of 8500 new shops opened in 2011, but it faced declined fall in 2021 with 4000 workshops. After that, grew significantly to 6000 shops in 2014 but it decreased continues and stop at 3000 new outlets in 2018.
On the other hand, the following trend for closed retails was at 6500 in 2011. It shows significant increase but after 2014 it decreased rapidly in 2015 with 500 outlets are closed, while, increased greatly to 5000 closed shops in 2018. stayed stable by the end of 2018.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, such as the initial figures and the final trends. However, the analysis is hampered by significant inaccuracies in reporting the data. For instance, you mention 2021, which is outside the 2011–2018 timeframe provided in the prompt. Additionally, the description of the trends is often confusing or contradictory, such as stating that new shops 'decreased continues' while also mentioning a rapid growth. To improve, ensure you carefully extract the correct data points from the graph and present them in a logical, chronological order to provide a clearer summary of the information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by unclear referencing and awkward transitions. Phrases like 'While, significant decrease' and 'After continues down' are grammatically disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of information. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', they are not always used effectively to link related ideas. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence clearly connects to the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'significant decrease' and 'grew'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'workshops' to describe retail shops and 'following trend' which is not used correctly in this context. Some phrases are awkward, such as 'faced declined fall'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'stabilised', and ensure that the words you choose are appropriate for describing statistical data in an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with verb tense consistency, such as mixing past and present tenses when describing historical data. Sentence structure is often fragmented or awkward, for example, 'After continues down in closed outlets grew rapidly'. There are also errors with articles and pluralisation, such as 'numbers of old shops that0 were shut down'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and maintaining a consistent tense when reporting on data from a specific period in the past.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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