Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of shop discontinued and the new shops came to business that opened in a country between 2011 and 2018.
in 2011, around 6,400 shops were closed and after a year it decreased to slightly below 6,000 shops in 2013. Moreover, it again soared to approximately 7,100 stores were closed in 2013, and again it declined to 6,500 shops. Then it further dropped to a low of 500 shops in 2015 which was reported the lowest figure of all time. While, it again rose to 5,100 shops in 2016 before experienced a drastic fluctuation. Furthermore, it remained stabled to 5,000 shops and finally it calculated nearly 5,100 shops in 2018.
Additionally, the new openings in 2011, reached almost 9,000 which was reported one of the highest compered to other time period. In 2012, it drastically fell to exactly 4,000. After that it again rose to near to 6,100 in 2014. the figure decreased near to 4000 in 2015. Then, it remained unchanged in 2015, 2016 and 2017 with approximately 4000. Finally, it fell to 3000 in 2018.
Overall, there was a significant fluctuation experienced in both figures. While, new shops decreased gradually compared to the closures shops.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting. For example, you state that closures dropped to 500 in 2015, whereas the graph clearly shows a figure closer to 5,000. Additionally, you mention that new openings remained unchanged in 2015, 2016, and 2017, but the graph shows distinct variations for those years. While you attempt to provide an overview, the factual errors regarding the data points undermine the accuracy of the summary. To improve, ensure that you carefully cross-reference your written figures with the visual data provided.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each category, and a brief overview. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For instance, 'While, it again rose' and 'Furthermore, it remained stabled to' demonstrate awkward transitions. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. While the overall structure is present, the lack of smooth, natural transitions and the occasional misuse of linking words limit the score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'soared', 'drastically', and 'fluctuation'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'shop discontinued', 'remained stabled', and 'compered to other time period'. These errors occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations (e.g., 'business closures' instead of 'shop discontinued') and ensure that your spelling and word forms are consistently accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'the new shops came to business that opened', 'before experienced a drastic fluctuation', and 'it calculated nearly 5,100 shops'. These errors, particularly regarding verb tense and sentence construction, are noticeable. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from being considered error-free. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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