Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrate the number of opened and closed shops in one country between 2011 and 2018
Overall, both shops flunctuated over the past years and had a decrease on their numbers. However, 5,200 opened shops was able to remain in the year of 2018. While, closed shops had a significant downfall.
In 2011, closed shops started off 8,500 and opened shops had 6,300. It shows that after a year closed shops had a significant downfall. While opened shops had a minimal decrease in number.
In 2014, shops submerged and diverge in 2015. It is evident how opened shops had a highest downfall that year and closed shops had a minimal decrease. Few years ago, closed shops recovered and sustain the number and was able to hit 5,200 number at end of the year 2018. Meanwhile opened shops sustained the number and fell down to 3,000 in the year 2018.
In contrast, closed shops started with the highest number. However, experienced downward at the end of the year. Meanwhile opened shops had a downward trend but was able to recover and ended with decreasing their numbers
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a summary of the main features, but the analysis is often inaccurate or confusing. For example, the statement that '5,200 opened shops was able to remain in the year of 2018' contradicts the graph, which shows closures at 5,200 and openings at 3,000. The description of trends is inconsistent, and the data points cited are frequently misidentified. While the overview attempts to identify the general downward trend, the lack of precision in reporting the data prevents a clear understanding of the graph's key features. To improve, ensure that data points are accurately transcribed and that the relationship between the two categories is clearly explained.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or misused, such as the transition 'While, closed shops had a significant downfall' starting a new sentence incorrectly. The paragraphing is somewhat arbitrary, and the connection between ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed. For instance, the transition between the 2014 data and the final years is abrupt and lacks a clear logical flow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would significantly enhance the readability and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several instances of word-choice errors that impede clarity. Words like 'submerged' and 'diverge' are used incorrectly in the context of describing graph trends. Phrases such as 'significant downfall' and 'minimal decrease' are used repeatedly, indicating a lack of variety. There are also issues with collocation, such as 'sustain the number', which does not accurately describe the movement of data on a line graph. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology for describing trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'plummeted', or 'stabilised', and avoid misusing complex-sounding words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'The line graph illustrate' and '5,200 opened shops was'. Punctuation is also problematic, with several sentence fragments and incorrect comma usage. While there is an attempt to use complex sentence structures, these are often faulty, leading to confusion. For example, 'Meanwhile opened shops had a downward trend but was able to recover and ended with decreasing their numbers' is grammatically awkward and unclear. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a beneficial first step.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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