Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of shops that closed down and were introduced over seven years of period in a particular country.
Overall, it is evident that in the beginning year the number of markets was highest, however, by the end of the period it reached the bottom of the chart. Whereas, new shops were opened in significant amount, with some fluctuation in between.
In the year 2011, shops opening were just over 8000, being the most substantial amount; in contrast, the number of shops that shut down was more than 6000. Over a one-year period, the number of shops opening dropped dramatically to around 4000 then rose again to about 2000 in 2014, slightly over 6000. With some volatility in the following year the total number of shops closed peaked at the same level as shops that newly opened. From 2014 to 2015 the amount of mall openings again fell to 4000 being stable for two years and in the last year it dropped, reaching 3000.
The number of shops closing in 2015 experienced a dramatic decrease in 2014, being the lowest number, less than 1000 and in the next year it rose considerably to roughly 5000 and maintained stability for the rest of the period.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends, identifying the general decline in shop numbers. However, the reporting of data is inconsistent and occasionally inaccurate. For instance, you mention that in 2014 the number of openings rose to 'about 2000' and then 'slightly over 6000', which is confusing and does not accurately reflect the graph's trajectory. Additionally, the description of the 2015 data is somewhat muddled, particularly regarding the 'dramatic decrease' in closures. To improve, ensure that data points are clearly linked to the correct years and that comparisons are precise. While the main features are identified, the lack of accuracy in reporting specific figures prevents a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific trends. Cohesive devices such as 'whereas', 'in contrast', and 'in the following year' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of information within the body paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second body paragraph where the timeline jumps between years in a way that is difficult to follow. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it hard for the reader to track which data point corresponds to which year. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'volatility', 'substantial', and 'fluctuation'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'beginning year' is not standard; 'initial year' or 'start of the period' would be better. Similarly, 'amount of mall openings' is imprecise, as the graph refers to 'shops' rather than 'malls'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main points, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on more natural collocations related to data description would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'over seven years of period' (should be 'over a seven-year period') and 'shops opening were just over 8000' (should be 'the number of shops opening was'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'being the lowest number, less than 1000 and in the next year it rose'. While you attempt complex structures, the control is inconsistent. Increasing the accuracy of subject-verb agreement and preposition usage will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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