Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below illustrates the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
In 2011, the closure of shops started at a high of about 8,500 and dropped by half to approximately 4,000. Afterwards, there was a slight increase that was about 5,000 and in 2013 it again rose up to 7,000. But then it fell from 7,000 to 6,000 in 2014.
On the other side, the number of shops that opened were at 6,200 in 2011. it then dropped to 4,000 in 2012 and then there was a slight increase up to 6500 in 2014. The most notable change occurred in 2015 when closures plummeted to 1,000.
Openings, however, remained relatively stable at around 4,200. After 2015, closures increased to 5,500 and remained at the level, while openings stayed at 4,200 before decreasing to 3,300 in 2018.
In conclusion, closures outnumbered openings overall, with a dramatic drop in 2015.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main features of the graph, including the trends for both closures and openings. You successfully identified the key turning point in 2015. However, the overview is somewhat weak; while you mention that closures outnumbered openings, it could be more effectively integrated into the body or as a distinct summary paragraph. Some data points are described with slight inaccuracies, such as the claim that closures 'dropped by half' from 8,500 to 4,000, which is not strictly accurate. To reach a higher band, ensure that all data points are reported with greater precision and that the overview highlights the most significant overall trends rather than just a single year.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In 2011', 'Afterwards', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more varied. For instance, the second paragraph feels a bit like a list of data points rather than a cohesive analysis of trends. Improving the flow between sentences by using more sophisticated linking phrases would enhance the overall coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, using terms like 'plummeted', 'remained relatively stable', and 'outnumbered'. However, there are some repetitive structures and minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'rose up to' (which is redundant) and 'at the level' (which is vague). To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations related to data description, such as 'a significant decline' or 'a period of fluctuation'. The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the number of shops that opened were' (subject-verb agreement error: 'number' is singular) and 'remained at the level' (missing article or specific reference). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but there are minor issues with capitalization and sentence structure consistency. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentences are constructed with greater accuracy to minimize errors that, while not impeding communication, do occur frequently.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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