Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of shop closures and openings 2011– 2018
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line graph illustrates the number of shops that remained close and the new shops that remained open in one specific country over the seven year period from 2001 to 2018.
Overall, it is clear that both categories experienced overall downward trends and significant fluctuations over the eight year periods. While opening showed an overall downward trend, closures experienced a dramatic decline before recovering and then remaining relatively stable.
Turning to the periods from 2011 to 2014, the number of shops openings fell sharply from approximately 8,500 in 2011 and 4000 in 2012. And then it increased steadily, reaching around 5000 in 2013 and 65000 in 2014. In contrast, shop closures declined slightly from 65,000 to 6,000 between 2011 to 2012 before rising to a peak roughly 72,000 in 2013. However, this figure then fell moderately 65,000 in 2014.
From 2015 onwards, shop closures experienced a dramatic decline, dropping around from around 65,000 in 2014 to just 700 in 2015. However, the figure then rose sharply to approximately 52,00 in 2018. Meanwhile, the shop openings stood at around 4000 in 2015 and remained unchanged in 2016 . They then increased slightly to roughly 42,000 in 2017 befor falling to 3000 in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main features of the graph, but there are significant inaccuracies in data reporting that undermine the task achievement. For example, you state that openings reached '65000 in 2014' and closures reached '72,000 in 2013', which are not supported by the provided graph. Additionally, the dates are inconsistent, mentioning 2001 instead of 2011. While you attempt to identify trends, the misinterpretation of the numerical data and the confusion between the two categories (openings vs. closures) prevent a clear summary. To improve, ensure you carefully cross-reference the axes and the legend before writing your figures.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In contrast', 'Meanwhile', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the progression of information is sometimes hindered by the inaccurate data, making the comparisons confusing. Furthermore, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the two time periods (2011-2014 and 2015-2018) could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion is weakened by the factual errors and some awkward phrasing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'fluctuations', 'dramatic decline', 'steadily', and 'relatively stable'. However, there are several instances of word choice errors or confusion, such as 'remained close' instead of 'closed' and 'remained open' instead of 'opened'. Additionally, there are inconsistencies in numerical notation (e.g., '52,00' instead of '5,200'). While you attempt to use a variety of descriptive language, the errors in word choice and the incorrect data presentation limit the precision of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'While opening showed an overall downward trend, closures experienced a dramatic decline'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'dropping around from around'), and punctuation errors. Some sentences are difficult to parse due to these slips, such as 'reaching around 5000 in 2013 and 65000 in 2014'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the overall accuracy score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.